Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5733 of 6371
Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 09:43
Comments (0)
Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 09:40
Comments (0)
I know you lifes not that interesting you only took those pictures to post on facebook.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 09:16
Comments (0)
if you beat the odds , they all knew you could do it.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 09:13 by L
Comments (0)
You know you're in the ghetto when the liquor stores have posters of Tanqueray, Black & Milds, and signs for a 2 piece chicken dinner special in the window.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 09:02 by Leeferd
Comments (0)
he really wants to control the television remotely but is unable to locate the device that fulfills that desire.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 08:49
Comments (0)
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
←Rate |
07-29-2010 08:24 by craig
Comments (0)
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 08:23 by craig
Comments (0)
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 08:22 by craig
Comments (0)
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 07:50
Comments (0)
Should I say Thank You when someone tell me *You look good TODAY!!!*?
←Rate |
07-29-2010 07:19
Comments (0)
i am always right, never wrong, one time I thought I was wrong, but I was wrong...
←Rate |
07-29-2010 02:04 by rush1oc
Comments (0)
if I wanted any lip from you, i'd rattle my zipper..
←Rate |
07-29-2010 02:03 by rush1oc
Comments (0)
walking on sunshine...and it kinda burns
←Rate |
07-29-2010 01:47 by Taylor
Comments (0)
Finds that the best place to pick up women is at the Immigration Office.
I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the crayon box.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 01:25
Comments (0)
Turning the music up does NOT cover up a fart... No matter what song is on!
←Rate |
07-29-2010 01:23 by Shayfus
Comments (0)
They say you can lure more flies with honey than vinegar.... I guess, "a dead turtle" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 01:20 by Shayfus
Comments (0)
A lion would never cheat on his wife, but a tiger wood.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 01:09
Comments (0)
Meet me in the corn feild Honey, and I'll kiss you between the ears.
←Rate |
07-29-2010 01:02 by JRAY
Comments (0)