Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5698 of 6369
Judge has got a stutter so it doesn't look like I'm getting a sentence.
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08-11-2010 12:49
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As a young child my mom told me I could be anybody I wanted to be. Turns out the police call it identity theft.
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08-11-2010 12:47
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There's a little Truth behind every JK, a little Curiosity behind every JW, a little Knowledge behind every IDK, and a little Emotion behind every IDC
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08-11-2010 12:41 by ViiKToR
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I don't take drugs. I'm not even an athlete
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08-11-2010 12:41
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Star Wars: A very long time ago but somehow still in the future
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08-11-2010 12:39
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How come Batman doesn't sleep upside down?
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08-11-2010 12:35
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If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?
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08-11-2010 12:22 by Leeferd
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Wh I thought that Jet Blue Flight attendant would have been used to bags bouncing off his face.
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08-11-2010 12:22
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The WHO has declared the flu pandemic officially over. It's good news but I'm not sure I trust Roger Daltry.
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08-11-2010 11:18
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wondering what they are saying behind my back
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08-11-2010 10:58 by anonymous
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I think I'm missing a point :| ----->>> ... .....
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08-11-2010 10:46
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statistically, you're twice as likely to be killed by a tipped vending machine than by a shark attack. which makes me wonder why there isn't a "vending machine week"
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08-11-2010 08:23
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WOOP WOOP! *HI-5* to the facebook developers, adding in *BLOCK EVENT INVITES* and not only a *BLOCK APPLICATIONS* section. YEWWW! it's going from SPAMBOOK back to FACEBOOK! to all my friends that are promoters. GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT!!! hahaha SUCKERS!
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08-11-2010 08:12
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wondering if Hootie and the Blowfish had another name in mind in case that was one taken
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08-11-2010 05:59
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I wanna hit the like button then unlike to let you know I =never liked in the first place
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08-11-2010 04:20
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Just because you're old and ugly, doesn't give you the right to be rude.
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08-11-2010 01:46
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Everytime I see that Megan Fox on that tv screen of mine, it sure gets a rise out of me.
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08-11-2010 01:44
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I want a woman not some little girl, that had to grow up in daddy's big world.
My gift horse is facing the wrong way
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08-11-2010 00:19 by Aaron
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Went to a restaurant... the drinks waiter gave me drinks, the food waiter gave me food. ... then the Head waiter came over....