Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5678 of 6370
Old Macdonald had tourettes,...e....i.....e.....i.... c%*t
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08-18-2010 06:10
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O Friday, O Friday! wherefore art thou Friday? Deny thy other weekday
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08-18-2010 04:57
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sin's so skilfully that it puts god in a dilemma whether to punish or not...
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08-18-2010 04:36 by Johnny B
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says Live every act fully, as if it were your last.
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08-18-2010 04:01
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why dont they complain when Catholic Churches are built by playgrounds??
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08-18-2010 00:23
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whenever you drop clothes on the ground and don't feel like bending down to pick it up so you just kick it up and catch it in the air
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08-18-2010 00:16
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Archaeologists have uncovered what is to be believed as the remains of the worlds oldest dog. Also uncovered at the same site is believed to be the worlds oldest dog coller. It says, "i'm rex, if found return to Larry King"
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08-18-2010 00:06
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more awesome than The Miz.
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08-18-2010 00:06
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You go to bed right now mister... How dare you post on here about your mother you are grounded for a week with no lemon bar deserts!
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08-18-2010 00:00
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Anyone else hate when there mom says they have to go to bed because it's too late? I mean really mom... it's 9 pm I know you are just looking out for me but I am 35 and I deserve some respect!
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08-17-2010 23:55
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climbing in your windows & snatching your people up. Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife.
Your Skin Is Pale White and you dont go out in the sun. Say it,Vampire. No I just play a lot of world of warcraft.
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08-17-2010 23:25 by D-Man
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BBC News: "Plus size women worth $10 billion to the fashion industry." Nothing compared to what they're worth to the food industry...
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08-17-2010 23:23
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Sugar daddy: Like a genie - he may be a little old, but if a girl rubs his lamp, he'll grant her wishes.
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08-17-2010 23:19
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Just overheard someone say "I've got a gut feeling in my stomach." That kind of use of the English language makes me want to punch his face in the face.
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08-17-2010 23:15
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Why don't autobiographies ever end with the person writing a book?
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08-17-2010 23:14
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Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea, but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold…
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08-17-2010 22:53 by HOME
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went to a country jamboree when this slutty dressed girl tripped and ended up on her back...Couldn't help it...I yelled Now that's a HO DOWN!!!
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08-17-2010 22:05
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it possible that at Brett Favre's age he just keeps forgetting he retired?
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08-17-2010 21:59 by Aaron
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"Hi, Welcome to Abercrombie. Our sizes are; Small, X Small, Anorexic, Bulemic, and Malnourished."
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08-17-2010 21:22
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