Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Just face it.... 9 out of 10 of your facebook friends would never be your friend in real life.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 04:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon She never lied to you. She promised to be your first and last... she just never said anything about all the others in between.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 04:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wouldn't feel too good about yourself... "inner beauty" is just a nice way of saying you're fat.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 04:00 Comments (2)  


   messageicon well in his defense.. You are only his step sister.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 03:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon lost my teddy bear.. Will you sleep with me?
←Rate | 08-19-2010 03:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not that I need a girlfirend its just that I was told I need some adult supervision. So getting a teenage sitters didn't qualify.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 03:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon about to give his doodle dandy a yankee
←Rate | 08-19-2010 02:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone who says 'money can't buy happiness' has never been broke.
←Rate | 08-19-2010 01:48 by nthensome Comments (0)  


   messageicon Side note for the local weatherman if its 95° and feels like 105°.... then guess what dumbass?.. Its 105°
←Rate | 08-19-2010 00:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found a real nice cardboard box outside my work... I think I'll quit my job and move in....
←Rate | 08-19-2010 00:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Brunette, A Blonde and a Man with Dandruff walk out of an Elevator, The Brunette says to the Blonde "Someone need's to give that guy some Head & Shoulders!" the Blonde asks "How do you give Shoulders?"
←Rate | 08-18-2010 23:39 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think instead of a Dislike Button, they should put a Spell Check Button!!
←Rate | 08-18-2010 23:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon still wants to know if everybody's still attending my Huge Orgy Party held on December 21, 2012 at my place?"
←Rate | 08-18-2010 23:16 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon you wanna know how to frustrate half the population in an instant?.... NEW facebook!!"
←Rate | 08-18-2010 23:08 by Dylan Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read about a dyslexic cop being fired for operating an IUD checkpoint.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 23:05 by Jeff Comments (0)  


   messageicon being investigated by Nancy Pelosi.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 23:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon does anyone still miss the old facebook?.. yeah that's what I thought, sell-outs."
←Rate | 08-18-2010 22:52 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did my good deed for the day. Rescued a poor little beer from the fridge.....It's name was miller lite and it was a cool little dude.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 22:03 by Corey C Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey ESPN,this is not MTV...How about showing some scores and highlights and keeping your opinions to yourself.enough with the drama.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 21:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 19:55 Comments (0)  




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