Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon It really pi$$es me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 12:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 12:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!!
←Rate | 08-24-2009 12:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon surprised how we live in a society where pizza gets to your house faster than the police...
←Rate | 08-24-2009 02:45 by Madz Comments (0)  

   messageicon just saw barbie sitting on pinnochio's face screamin "lie you damn puppet, lie!!"
←Rate | 08-24-2009 02:44 by Madz Comments (0)  

   messageicon doesn't care if his neighbors see him walking around in his Spiderman boxers. It's Tuesday!
←Rate | 08-24-2009 02:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows you laugh at him because he's different. He laughs because you're all the same.
←Rate | 08-24-2009 02:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon feels like a Fruit Loop trapped in a box of Cheerios...
←Rate | 08-24-2009 00:29 by SB Comments (0)  

   messageicon anyone who says it's as easy as taking candy from a baby, has never tried taking candy from a baby!
←Rate | 08-23-2009 23:05 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon gotta feeling tonight's gonna be a good night.
←Rate | 08-23-2009 16:58 by Katie Comments (0)  

   messageicon The neighbor's kids are named Titus and Judah. Either the couple is Greek, or they smoke ALOT of dope.
←Rate | 08-23-2009 12:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon put the wrong socks on the wrong feet this morning.
←Rate | 08-22-2009 23:23 by Kev-o Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to procrastinate... well, not today... perhaps tomorrow!
←Rate | 08-21-2009 16:07 by snoopy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks Women are like scratch-off tickets… There fun to do, ….. Most of the time they turn out to be losers, …. If your lucky you'll get a winner, ……. And in the end you spend more than you get!
←Rate | 08-21-2009 14:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon And on Friday God created alcohol, and Adam was happy! It had been a long first week with Eve
←Rate | 08-21-2009 06:10 by Psym0n Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently you have been misinformed, because the ONLY advantage you have over me is... you can "kiss my ass" and I cant...
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If ten percent is good enough for God; it should be good enough forObama...
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
←Rate | 08-21-2009 04:54 Comments (0)  

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