Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Now With Extra Pulp, Squeezed Fresh For Your Statusfaction.
←Rate | 02-14-2010 02:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Single-Awareness Day!
←Rate | 02-14-2010 01:01 by Julius Andres Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guys Don't Worry about Today, Your Women Can Be Satisfied with Only 8.5 cm ... and It Doesn't Matter If It is VISA or MASTERCARD !!!
←Rate | 02-14-2010 00:40 by EDK Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm already a fan of good times, beer, and women..Why would I want to become a fan of anything else?!
←Rate | 02-14-2010 00:28 by Steve-O Comments (0)  

   messageicon just heard that there is snow on the ground somewhere in every state in the union except Hawaii. Global warming, you know. . .
←Rate | 02-14-2010 00:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy New Year to all my Chinese friends, and those who just want a reason to party. With it coinciding with Valentines Day, I know of one professional golfer who is planning to celebrate the 14th & all year long. After all, it IS the Year of the Tiger!
←Rate | 02-13-2010 23:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey look! I am invisible!
←Rate | 02-13-2010 23:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "If you are Jordan, Wade, Garnett or Peyton, it worked. It don't work on Leroy." --- Charles Barkley
←Rate | 02-13-2010 23:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Have you ever noticed that Gatorade doesn't work on guys who suck?" --- Charles Barkley
←Rate | 02-13-2010 23:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon will always believe that cupid rhymes with stupid.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 22:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 22:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon - I am looking for my Valentine's Day Date on the Casual Encounters Section of Craigslist.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 19:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a barbie girl in a barbie world.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 19:27 by Sierra Comments (0)  

   messageicon abstinance makes the church grow fondlers
←Rate | 02-13-2010 19:24 by paul fitz barnes Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't find a valentine even though I have gotten my bedwetting problem under control... what else do you lady's want from me... to watch lifetime with you???
←Rate | 02-13-2010 19:11 by Jackhansen Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women are like roads: the more curves they have,the more dangerous they are.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 19:10 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon - Ladies, you have Feb. 14th (Valentine's Day) - Not to worry Men, we have March 14th...If you don't know what March 14th is, Google it :)
←Rate | 02-13-2010 18:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Love has its own time, its own season, its own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coax it into staying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you...
←Rate | 02-13-2010 18:14 by gwhillguy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you'll feed him for life. Give a octopus nunchuks and nobody's going to bother those fish again.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 18:06 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-boyfriend and me. After all, I'm a LCancer and he's an asshole!
←Rate | 02-13-2010 17:16 Comments (0)  

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