Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon some people call it Thanksgiving Day.....I call it "Bitc* Slap Vegetarian" Day
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon to belittle is to be little.
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon blowing out another's candle will not make yours shine brighter.
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon anger is only one letter short of danger
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In hindsight...maybe telling the whole family while we were pulling names for christmas grab bag that I was going to be getting into directing porn was not really the ideal time to do so....I did however draw Grandma Gertrude though!!!!
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:39 by DS Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is beyond me why people would be camping outside in the cold weather waiting 7, 8 hours to go spend them money...SMH
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:26 by Snypa Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanksgiving! The time of the year where the bathrooms are the busiest
←Rate | 11-26-2009 22:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shut up homework. I'm trying to do my facebook
←Rate | 11-26-2009 21:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not sure what the words "PORN" and "POT" have to do with Thanksgiving ... but I know my Mom said both of them at the Dinner table tonight.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 20:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I said was .. "Just spread the legs open alittle wider and I'll stuff it in".....Geez thats the last time I try to help stuff a turkey !
←Rate | 11-26-2009 20:04 by SeanyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon women are like pianos,there grand when there not upright!
←Rate | 11-26-2009 18:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not usually a fan of cliche's, but every now and then it's ok to ask yourself what you're truly thankful for...
←Rate | 11-26-2009 18:21 by potts Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gotta love sharing a bathroom with elderly family after Thanksgiving Dinner...I feel like Andy Dufrain crawling thru those 200 hundred yards of pipe for freedom....
←Rate | 11-26-2009 16:59 by DS Comments (1)  


   messageicon Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 15:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
←Rate | 11-26-2009 15:46 by kibbs23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thank god I'm ambidextrious and thank you redtube
←Rate | 11-26-2009 13:58 Comments (1)  


   messageicon can't wait for this 365 day weekend to begin.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 13:48 by fefe Comments (0)  


   messageicon An Indian man dies and goes to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates,he meets an angel. Angel asks "Who are you here to see?". "Jesus!" the man replies. The angel then shouts "Jesus! Your taxi's here!".
←Rate | 11-26-2009 12:23 by Lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon I love the Macys Thanksgiving day parade. Where you can watch your favorite stars lipsync to their hit songs!
←Rate | 11-26-2009 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Norton Shores, Michigan - a teenage girl had her neck bit by the young man sitting in front of her during a screening of the new Twilight movie. So caught up, he committed to being a vampire. Don't even ask what happened when he saw Brokeback Mountain
←Rate | 11-26-2009 09:52 by @Felesar Comments (0)  


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