Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Liquor? I dont even like her.....
←Rate | 02-03-2010 15:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon s on a Facebook Dating Application!!.. And You Wouldn't Believe All these Celebrity Looks-A-like's that want to Hook up with me!! I'm Gonna be Dating a girl that looks like Miley Cyrus Suckahs!!"
←Rate | 02-03-2010 15:06 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  

   messageicon amazed by the fact how some symphonies can pull the string of hearts and takes one to totally different environment within seconds and making mood swings followed by lacs of chemical changes occuring in the brain
←Rate | 02-03-2010 14:42 by naishadh86 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks. Of all the places to get changed in secret, why the funk would superman choose a small box in the middle of a built up city which to be fair is mainly made up of windows.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 14:19 by ritchie_bonk Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks, sex is like any other performance, i.e a stage performance. So as that you dont blow it early on in the show, you must have a rehersal before HAND so as not to leave your audience (partner) disapointed.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 14:15 by ritchie_bonk Comments (0)  

   messageicon if everyone looked like their celebrity doppelganger and really matched their urbandictionary meaning, I could eat butterflies and poop rainbows.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 14:06 by Becky Comments (0)  

   messageicon some people come to Facebook just to air out their "dirty laundry", others just don't know how to clean it.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 14:02 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon I woke up this morning and turned on the tv. This tv evangelist was on and he said"you may not know this, but already you have SINNED." I said what could I have done? I just woke up.I'm not even out of bed. I turned and asked my sister and she didn't know
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:59 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon doesn't have a drinking problem. He drinks. He gets drunk. He falls down. No problem...
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:49 by samdave69 Comments (0)  

   messageicon using a lightsaber to chop vegitables.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:11 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the words of the chef on the muppet show - "Orshky Borshky Chicken!"
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:10 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dont sh!t where you eat...A friendly reminder brought to you by The Stop Being A Dumb@ss Association.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:07 by Anthony26l Comments (0)  

   messageicon a lesbian trapped in a mans body.....
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:02 by samdave69 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes God turns you upside down so you can learn to live rightside up.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 13:00 by BTWykle Comments (0)  

   messageicon No unwilling people were harmed during the making of this status. Viewer discretion is advised
←Rate | 02-03-2010 12:51 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 12:43 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon that a person who really loves you is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everoyone else still believes in the smile on your face
←Rate | 02-03-2010 12:32 by khaleed Comments (0)  

   messageicon What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."
←Rate | 02-03-2010 12:31 by Octane Comments (0)  

   messageicon To think, it takes time. To think what to think takes even more time. To think what you just read takes less time.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 12:27 by Octane Comments (0)  

   messageicon Virginity is not a dignity.It's just a Lack of opportunity.
←Rate | 02-03-2010 12:25 by Octane Comments (0)  

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