Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon putting on his mistletoe belt buckle
←Rate | 11-30-2009 19:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 18:55 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 18:54 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon says: Is it just me or do all the people in "The Snuggie" commercials look like they are in a cult???
←Rate | 11-30-2009 18:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 17:14 by NED Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rehab is for quiters
←Rate | 11-30-2009 17:00 by tp Comments (0)  

   messageicon End discrimination. Hate everybody!
←Rate | 11-30-2009 16:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon may not be Santa, but it doesnt mean he hasnt seen you while you're sleeping...
←Rate | 11-30-2009 15:56 by GeoffreyB Comments (0)  

   messageicon Congratulations! You're not illiterate
←Rate | 11-30-2009 15:20 by @CGRIN2049 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks It's easier to seek forgiveness than ask for permission.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 15:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I went through three magazines on the train yesterday. I'd killed a dozen people before they managed to wrestle the gun off me
←Rate | 11-30-2009 14:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wake me up when is xmas over coz I cant afford buy any presents....
←Rate | 11-30-2009 12:12 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon AOL has announced that they're going to lay off one-third of their employees. On the bright side, it's AOL, so they're going to do it slowly and with frequent interruptions.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 11:17 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants a hippopotamus for Christmas.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 10:18 by GB Ward Comments (0)  

   messageicon Confucius says "Christmas trees are like priests...their balls are just for decoration"......
←Rate | 11-30-2009 08:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm calling in blind this morning. I can't see myself going into work today.
←Rate | 11-30-2009 03:51 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Paris Hilton is working on a new CD. I believe this one is called, "And You Thought the First One Sucked".
←Rate | 11-30-2009 00:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose
←Rate | 11-29-2009 22:53 by RogueAirborne Comments (0)  

   messageicon 1 day of coal for 364 of fun... I'll take my chances
←Rate | 11-29-2009 21:34 by olemissman79 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Erm, Dear Santa, let me explain... the money was only resting in my account, and that thing with the elves , I have destroyed the negatives so you can be rest assured I will not black mail you for any pressies this year, been a good run, 30 plus years...
←Rate | 11-29-2009 19:52 Comments (0)  

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