Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon you know its sad when your mother is on facebook and guys younger than you are poking her.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 17:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon doesn't believe in's bad luck!!
←Rate | 01-22-2010 16:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Televangelist Pat Robertson said the earthquake in Haiti happened because they made a pact with the devil to get rid of the French in the Haitian Revolution. Pat, please. You don't need a pact with the devil to bead the French.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 15:39 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon I Dont Even Tell Myself What To Do! So What Gives You The Right Too!!
←Rate | 01-22-2010 15:11 by Dean Roper Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook: the only book teens read these days.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 14:50 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon the cost of living has gone up and the cost of making a living is really up.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 14:49 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did a book report on facebook and passed.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 14:49 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the scale of 1 to Kanye West, how interruptive are you?
←Rate | 01-22-2010 14:45 by Mduduzi Gama Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves automatic doors. It makes him feel like a Jedi.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 13:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My ex girlfriend auditioned for American idol. She said if she got through, she would be on "Cloud 9". I told her she was more suited for "Destrict 9"
←Rate | 01-22-2010 13:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I measure the wealth of my day by asking myself did I add more friends today over friends who have deleted me on Facebook
←Rate | 01-22-2010 13:29 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon Many years ago,Ozzy Osbourne asked me how he could get publicity to help his music career. I told him he needed a bright red hat. He thought I said "bite the head off a bat". And the rest,of course is history.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 13:10 by JEREMY CAKES Comments (0)  

   messageicon never apologizes. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am....
←Rate | 01-22-2010 12:59 by Y.P Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where there's smoke, the possibility exists I might be cooking...
←Rate | 01-22-2010 10:44 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon These internet scams must make it difficult for legitimate Nigerian officials to share huge sums of money with strangers
←Rate | 01-22-2010 10:42 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Damn court sux. If I ever got pooled 4 jury duty I would start all my answers w/ "According to the phrophecy..."
←Rate | 01-22-2010 09:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway!
←Rate | 01-22-2010 08:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office." - Robert Frost
←Rate | 01-22-2010 07:35 by jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishes everyone involved in the Global Warming debate would all just Chill Out.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 07:30 by marymc Comments (0)  

   messageicon scared of fortune cookies, mine said: this message will self destruct in five seconds.
←Rate | 01-22-2010 03:43 by Smin Comments (0)  

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