Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 5652 of 5775

   messageicon I love a Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 08:08 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon HOLIDAY SHOPPING TIP #1: When the lines at the supermarket are out the door. Say loudly "Ill take the next customer on register #_ _"Then make your way to the nearest "Real" open register.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 02:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump, may your potatoes and gravy have a nary lump. May your yams be delicious, And your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs! HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL..........
←Rate | 11-26-2009 02:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I beat up a Ninja once...True story.
←Rate | 11-26-2009 01:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves animals... especially in gravy
←Rate | 11-25-2009 22:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I celebrate Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invite everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we have an enormous feast, and then I kill them and take their land.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 21:37 by Benny Comments (0)  

   messageicon So stick that in your juice box & suck it!!
←Rate | 11-25-2009 20:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hangovers: the wrath of grapes.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 18:53 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon filthy,stinking rich. Well,two out of three ain't bad.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 18:52 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Thanksgivings...Screw the turkey, I want to stuff my woman...
←Rate | 11-25-2009 17:46 by will Comments (0)  

   messageicon May contain nuts.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 15:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanksgiving is the one day each year day families get together…and remind themselves why they only get together once a year.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 15:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the only time love comes before sex is in the dictionary.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 14:16 by fefe Comments (0)  

   messageicon has just read his wife's magazines and there seems to be two topics of major importance to women: .1) Why men are such disgusting pigs and .2) How to attract a man!
←Rate | 11-25-2009 11:14 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon to be a roadie,, get on the roads not on a stupid tv show!!!
←Rate | 11-25-2009 10:21 by amit Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks mother nature is bi-polar and is off her meds!!
←Rate | 11-25-2009 08:45 by italianmama03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sex,Drugs & Sausage Rolls.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 08:29 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon On this Thanksgiving I'm thankful for family and friends and the fact I don't have to wear Depends. I'm thankful for hard alcohol and seeing friends at the Mall, But most of all I'm thankful for turkey and stuffin' and SWEET, SWEET HOT LOVIN'!!!!
←Rate | 11-25-2009 07:57 by T-Mart Comments (0)  

   messageicon trying to think of ways to coax the gerbil out. Shoulda known they could chew through a sock
←Rate | 11-25-2009 04:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon its right what they say fruit is good for constipation. I got my phone bill this morning from orange and I nearly s**t myself.
←Rate | 11-25-2009 04:24 by Rabs Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left