Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I think I overdosed on my family.....Santa has the right idea....only visit some ppl once a year.....
←Rate | 12-25-2009 00:38 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christ's Hope Rescuing Iniquitous Souls To Miraculously Administer Salvation!!! Thank God for Christmas!!!!
←Rate | 12-25-2009 00:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...
←Rate | 12-24-2009 23:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can't figure out what to get someone for Christmas, get them a gift card! It's like saying, "Here's $20... go get your own damn gift!"
←Rate | 12-24-2009 23:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishing God Almighty a happy birthday! They grow up so fast!
←Rate | 12-24-2009 22:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Money cant buy happiness, but at least I can pick my own misery.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 22:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon pissed..he just bought a DVD entitled "Tiger's 18 Favorite Holes", and the damn thing is about GOLF!!
←Rate | 12-24-2009 21:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just shot his eye out..
←Rate | 12-24-2009 20:31 by Brendan Ryan\'s Mustache Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if Tiger Woods is dreaming of a White Mistress?
←Rate | 12-24-2009 18:26 by COREY Comments (0)  

   messageicon eating Babybels at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without the baby cheeses.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 17:59 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rihanna can stopp tryin' . . . Seems like Chris Brown slapped the music outta her. . .
←Rate | 12-24-2009 17:55 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon standing in line at Target and just received a dirty look from the woman in front of him, after he started dancing to her obnoxiously loud "Sex and The City"-theme ringtone.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 15:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon EDGE ▂ ▃ ▅ ▆ █
←Rate | 12-24-2009 12:58 by Sypa Comments (0)  

   messageicon Festivus is a secular holiday celebrated on December 23rd. It was created by writer Dan O'Keefe and introduced into popular culture by his son Daniel, a screenwriter for the TV show Seinfeld
←Rate | 12-24-2009 12:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I dont believe in Santa...but with no money in my pocket ....I think I will change my opinion about him.....
←Rate | 12-24-2009 11:26 by Anand Telang Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Christmakwanzzakkah
←Rate | 12-24-2009 11:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't stand on his own because he's too-tired and a bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired
←Rate | 12-24-2009 11:05 by Mmz Comments (0)  

   messageicon if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays
←Rate | 12-24-2009 08:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Try this experiment: The next time someone says "Oh, I'm fine..." look them square in the eyes and say "Tell me the truth." Sometimes all people really want is someone to take an interest. Show them you care all the time, not just at Christmas.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 08:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon All we need to survive is, one person who truly loves us
←Rate | 12-24-2009 07:58 Comments (0)  

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