Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump

Search Messages:
Page: 5650 of 5686

   messageicon looks life a flower but stings like a bee.
←Rate | 04-25-2009 21:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hitting you one more time baby.
←Rate | 04-25-2009 20:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to be a millionaire.
←Rate | 04-25-2009 20:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon lives in a pineapple under the sea.
←Rate | 04-25-2009 19:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon blames it on the alcohol.
←Rate | 04-25-2009 18:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some People are like slinkies,, not good for anything, but fun to watch tunmble down stairs(:
←Rate | 04-24-2009 15:05 by Lexi Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thinks your so vain you proberly think this status is about you!
←Rate | 04-24-2009 07:12 by Nick T Comments (0)  

   messageicon drinking tequila in the shower....09:07 AM
←Rate | 04-24-2009 00:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon vertically challenged
←Rate | 04-23-2009 23:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not the empire but I still strike back...
←Rate | 04-23-2009 22:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows that your husband isn't realy taking tennis lessons on Sundays...
←Rate | 04-23-2009 19:42 Comments (1)  

   messageicon needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to punch you in the face." Put it beside the "Like" button. Just a suggestion.
←Rate | 04-23-2009 16:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon tired of following his dreams, he/she is just gonna ask where they are going and hook up with them later
←Rate | 04-23-2009 09:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon walked into a shop this morning when the woman working said "if you need anything, I'm Jill". I haven't met anyone with a conditional identity before.
←Rate | 04-23-2009 07:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if its got tits or wheels it'll give you trouble
←Rate | 04-23-2009 02:59 by Danskin Comments (0)  

   messageicon Change is inevitable... Unless your a vending machine
←Rate | 04-23-2009 02:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon now listed as single but in a relationship,its complicated.
←Rate | 04-23-2009 01:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.
←Rate | 04-22-2009 23:49 by Vybe Comments (0)  

   messageicon needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to stab you."
←Rate | 04-22-2009 20:14 by Mh Comments (0)  

   messageicon to all the wackos who believe in global warming try coming to Idaho in the middle of March..It'll snow
←Rate | 04-22-2009 19:32 by Kay Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left