Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon thinks it's obvious that a guy created google...i'm feeling lucky?
←Rate | 12-03-2009 11:33 by TT Comments (0)  

   messageicon brakes for unicorns.
←Rate | 12-03-2009 11:32 by TT Comments (0)  

   messageicon do not have any attachments, do not have anything in your life you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner.
←Rate | 12-03-2009 10:12 by fefe Comments (0)  

   messageicon At the end of the day Tiger Woods is the guy we all want to be: $600 million, 75 Cars, Cute dogs, Hot Wife, 3 hotter girlfriends....Enough Said!
←Rate | 12-03-2009 08:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if you know Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, then isn't it a really dumb question to ask if you know the MOST famous reindeer of them all
←Rate | 12-03-2009 05:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tiger Woods: never satisfied with a hole in one.
←Rate | 12-03-2009 05:35 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Santa is a judgemental twat who bears a grudge. I've explained the Elves incident a hundred times now. So what if I was caught naked with one of his helpers in a cupboard, it was all an innocent mistake!
←Rate | 12-03-2009 03:10 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too strong for fear
←Rate | 12-03-2009 00:30 by Mikey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wants to have unprotected text
←Rate | 12-02-2009 23:27 by @CGRIN2049 Comments (0)  

   messageicon why do all the other reindeer have brown noses??? Because they aren't as quick to stop as Rudolph
←Rate | 12-02-2009 22:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hmmm..wonder if Tom from Myspace has a Facebook page
←Rate | 12-02-2009 22:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!
←Rate | 12-02-2009 20:33 by Joser Comments (0)  

   messageicon says a clean house is the sign of a broken computer
←Rate | 12-02-2009 19:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon konws taht you can raed tihs sutats jsut fnie and you tuhohgt I was tolaltly dnruk lkie lsat tmie.
←Rate | 12-02-2009 19:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...just heard that Tampax is replacing the strings with tinsel this month. ...Ladies, get them soon, supplies only last for the the Christmas period!
←Rate | 12-02-2009 17:18 by Tim* Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jethro Leroy Gibbs>The President address
←Rate | 12-02-2009 17:10 by Nitsua Comments (0)  

   messageicon chugging NyQuil until sugar plums really are dancing in my head
←Rate | 12-02-2009 16:49 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  

   messageicon one good thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbours
←Rate | 12-02-2009 16:35 by raeanne Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to stick a mistletoe in my back pocket this XMAS, and anyone who doesn't like me can KISS MY ASS!!
←Rate | 12-02-2009 16:34 by raeanne Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shooting up heroin with Justin Bieber and Making a sex tape with Miley Cyrus..
←Rate | 12-02-2009 16:11 Comments (0)  

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