Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon not shy -- I'm studying my prey.
←Rate | 06-02-2009 08:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't find Tom on facebook.
←Rate | 06-01-2009 12:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon FREE TIBET! *Offer only valid with purchase of another Tibet of equal or greater value. Void where prohibited"
←Rate | 06-01-2009 08:41 by Dragon-King Comments (0)  

   messageicon loves to read status updates like "I'm really bored" and "I'm at work right now". Good stuff. Keep me posted...thanks!
←Rate | 05-31-2009 22:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon hoping that she remebers last nite cause I dont.
←Rate | 05-28-2009 21:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching the biggest loser and eating oreos
←Rate | 05-27-2009 10:56 by Jason Fletcher Comments (0)  

   messageicon Feeling a little groggy today. I think my check-engine light has come on.
←Rate | 05-27-2009 07:21 by thullqst Comments (0)  

   messageicon pondering some of life's great mysteries. Like, why are we here?, is there life on Mars? and why doesn't Donald duck wear pants?
←Rate | 05-27-2009 05:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon leting his eye lashes hug each other for few hours.
←Rate | 05-26-2009 01:58 by Tyler Comments (0)  

   messageicon happy that the Statute of Limitations has finally expired, and he can finally admit that he is, in fact, the one who let the dogs out.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 22:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon doing the Helen Keller and talking with her hips.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 15:36 by sugaRush Comments (0)  

   messageicon single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!
←Rate | 05-25-2009 15:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon such a thrill seeker. when I see "caution wet floor" signs, I speed up.
←Rate | 05-25-2009 13:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon waited patiently in line for 'free willy', only to discover it was a film!
←Rate | 05-25-2009 13:16 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ... This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting...
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:20 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:18 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...They called it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken....
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:15 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:14 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon ...Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm...
←Rate | 05-25-2009 11:13 by Tenacious Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks you should know that you don't HAVE to be crazy to be my friend...but it helps!!
←Rate | 05-24-2009 18:16 by shelbs Comments (0)  

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