Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5628 of 6371
Any way I see it Jack and Jill were both idiots... Who in the hell goes up hill to find water?
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03-08-2018 14:09 by JohnY
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If Melania was a Democrat, she would be on the cover of every magazine and hailed by the media for her grace, language and beauty.
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03-08-2018 14:27
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Like if you ever got charged for not rewinding a VHF tape
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03-08-2018 17:34 by Fadolo
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Neighbors state that old McDonald "had" a farm and the last time anyone saw him he was screaming vowels into the air. Back to you, Jen.
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03-08-2018 22:23
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This dentist just told me I need a crown, and it's a relief to finally start getting some recognition around here.
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03-08-2018 22:26
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I can't really afford Essential Oils so let's see what we have in the pantry.
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03-08-2018 22:37
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Alexa laughing and refusing to obey instructions? Better start working on your reasons to live for our new robot overlords
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03-08-2018 22:47
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To keep the kids occupied all day on Easter, only hide 3 eggs for the Earter egg hunt.
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03-09-2018 00:35 by Jake
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Easter is April 1st this year which is also April fool's day. So to celecrate both days together, I will be dyeing raw eggs this year.
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03-09-2018 00:46 by Jake
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I don't like WcDonald's....I prefer Mendy's
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03-09-2018 03:03 by Eddy
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Today is International Women's Day, It was supposed to be yesterday, but they couldn't get ready on time !
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03-09-2018 04:54
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Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation
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03-09-2018 04:54
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The only way to know a relationship is going well, when she feels comfortable taking a dump at your place
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03-09-2018 04:55
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The Hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to Fart Quietly Again
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03-09-2018 04:56
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Heading to WcDonald's for a Big Wac
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03-09-2018 07:07
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When I'm feeling down and someone says "Keep your chin up!" I get the urge to break their legs with a baseball bat and tell them "Walk it off!"
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03-09-2018 07:47
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Spring is acting like a deadbeat dad... like are you coming or not.
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03-09-2018 09:02
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Uh oh...FOX News report claims Ivanka, Kushner, Kelly, McMaster are on departure list from the White House. So much mixed emotions.
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03-09-2018 16:30
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No matter what happens in life, NEVER give up on my dreams. That is why I sleep till noon.
National meatball day. A day in the honor of David Dennison
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03-09-2018 21:51
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