Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5591 of 6371
Dressing up for Halloween as a Kardashian. I'll be turning tricks for treats.
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09-20-2010 01:11
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Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe. Can't stand me? Sit down. Can't face me? Turn around and start walking!
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09-20-2010 00:19
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and 17 other friends removed you from their friend list on Facebook.
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09-20-2010 00:12
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What's the difference between complete and finished? When you have a beautiful girlfriend your life is complete, your wife finds out about it you're finished.
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09-20-2010 00:03
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When somebody flips you off, just stick up your whole hand and say, meet the family.
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09-19-2010 23:59
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ARE you AS BORED AS I AM? Read these words backwards and it still makes sense.
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09-19-2010 23:51
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If you had sex for 365 days, kept all the condoms and made a tire out of it, what would you call it? A F*CKING GOODYEAR!
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09-19-2010 23:40
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If you are late to special ed is it proper for the teacher to say that you are tardy?
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09-19-2010 23:34 by David
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Real eyes realize real lies.
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09-19-2010 23:30
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wonders why people fart and waste, when you can burp and taste....
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09-19-2010 23:23 by samdave69
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I'm determined to conquer every obstacle, and make impossible possible. Even when winning is illogical, losing is still far from optional.
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09-19-2010 23:21
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I am a really nice guy. You know why? Because a woman stays in my mind, lives in my heart, and I've never asked her for the rent.
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09-19-2010 23:15
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Love is a fire... But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
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09-19-2010 23:14
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall--until I gave him a good, swift kick ;-)
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09-19-2010 23:13
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I will take a chance, I will Dance until the Day I Die, I will never look back.. Did I really need Katy Perry to tell me all that? No, But after watchin' her music video. I will dream like a teenager tonight."
Success is like pregnancy, everyone congratulates you but no one knows how many times you've been screwed to get there.
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09-19-2010 23:09
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99% of teens today would die if Facebook had an error and shut down. Make this your status if you'd be part of the 1% laughing! :)
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09-19-2010 23:08
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Don't make decisions when ur angry... and don't make promises when ur happy...
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09-19-2010 23:07
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NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE... even the word itself says "IM POSSIBLE."
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09-19-2010 23:05
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Look at your keyboard and I notice "U" & "I" are together... it's meant to be! Now look just beneath it... JK!
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09-19-2010 23:02
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