Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5544 of 6371
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The pe*is has it rough! his hair is always a mess. His family is nuts. And his neighbor is a a$$hole.
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If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
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10-06-2010 17:18 by Heather25
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You b*tch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.
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10-06-2010 17:17 by Heather25
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Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". ;)
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10-06-2010 17:15 by Heather25
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No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
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10-06-2010 17:15 by Heather25
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I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.
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10-06-2010 17:14 by Heather25
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I only had one officer Mr. Keg..
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10-06-2010 17:02 by Heather25
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Cmon, write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!!
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10-06-2010 16:59 by Heather25
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QUICK!! To the Bandwagon!! (to Vikings fans, this blew up my profile with responses today!))
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10-06-2010 16:52 by AMS
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thinks the vikings this season is gonna be like watching a car wreck, where you know its gonna be ugly, but you gotta watch anyways...only with really old collector cars...
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10-06-2010 16:51 by AMS
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I just heard that Randy Moss is writing his life story. He's only written two chapters and already he's finished an entire box of crayons. :)
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10-06-2010 16:50 by AMS
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So I wonder will Moss wear #84 again? Seems that wouldn't be good for jersey sales as everyone on the bandwagon 10 years ago prob still has their Moss jersey in the back of their closet or trailer or whatever...
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10-06-2010 16:49 by AMS
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If only you knew what I was capable of...
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10-06-2010 16:05 by the used
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thinks that if Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga had a baby, it would look like Chuky.
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10-06-2010 16:03
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slowly going insane... just to get away from all these normal ppl... O.o
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10-06-2010 15:47
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chloraseptic tastes like the smell of a new shower curtain
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i undressed him with my eyes
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10-06-2010 14:34
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Dude that girl that was at the party is dating a little person. He just came in with a mini keg and I laughed at him then he flipped me off with a little person finger and I laughed harder and they made me leave. come and get me...
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10-06-2010 13:51
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The computer just crashed and erased all the work I didn't do this morning.
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10-06-2010 13:40 by Aaron
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I am imperfection perfected.
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10-06-2010 13:11 by Aaron
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