Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 55 of 6387
When I see chocolate, I hear two voices in my head. One says, “eat the chocolate.” The other says, “you heard me right, eat it.”
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01-13-2023 04:18
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Back in 5 minutes ~ if not, read this again.
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01-12-2023 03:08
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Papa Bear: Read the part again where she burns her whore mouth on my porridge.
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05-01-2022 20:03 by Billy
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“Fact Checkers” didn’t exist until the truth started getting out.
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05-02-2022 03:28 by Mary
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I think my neighbor must have hit her toe with a hammer, she’s screaming like that at 2:00am. Lol
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05-09-2022 02:30
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Thank you, warning label. I almost used my toaster in the shower this morning.
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01-12-2023 03:36
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Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.
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08-15-2022 15:08
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The only adult knowledge that a third grader needs to know, is that girls/boys have cooties.
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08-15-2022 17:41
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What’s up cake? Muffin much.
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01-13-2023 04:09
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Almost forgot the internet has porn.
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04-11-2022 20:05
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Shoutout to my parents who let me go through my tomboy phase without putting me on puberty blockers.
Spell your crush’s name backwards ~ Dnufer Xat
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04-26-2022 01:56
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When I was young, I was told that anybody could become President. I’m beginning to believe it.
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08-04-2022 01:56
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There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.
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08-02-2022 01:09
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Establish dominance by asking your therapist how they feel about what you just said.
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08-03-2022 01:24
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A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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07-30-2022 01:57
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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01-12-2023 03:51
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Food is my favorite F-word.
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05-04-2022 02:00 by nick_yack
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Certified freak seven days a week…. Wet a** opossum just walking down the street.
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05-24-2022 22:55
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He knows nothing; he thinks he knows everything, that clearly points to a career in public office.
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07-30-2022 01:57
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