Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Bruce Springsteen is my favorite Beatle

   How many of you have gotten into some serious trouble with your partner because of a comment made by some wayward fool on your FB status or wall?

   As long as I can still scare white folks, I'm not a sellout.

   Oh it's Cinco de Mayo....that's why I keep seeing cars with 22 people inside back through a red light with a traffic cam, family portraits!!

   What do you call Converse on a nun? Nunchucks.

   My idea was a naked version of DUNE called NUDE, but there are places no one wants sand.

   How can Bill O'Reilly be fired. The President assured as he is a good guy and didn't do anything wrong.

   Message to Trump: Before you begin your outreach to minority voters, how about stop calling blacks "the blacks"?

   If she's in love with Justin Beiner, she's too young for you bro!

   Life isn't about getting nude... Its about being nude.... Bring on National Nude Day

   All you need is a good attitude...... and a little glitter!!! (~.~)

   @Guys - your nipples make no sense to us.

   here to tell you, honey, that I'm bad to the bone. B-b-b-b-bad.

   X says When I was a kid I wanted a pet giraffe & a working lightsaber, but then I hit puberty and found out I had a working "lightsaber" and didn't leave my bedroom for a year.

   I do not 'get' the concept of a 'gift certificate' , first you take a piece of paper that's good EVERYWHERE,,,,

   more kisses begin with Budweiser or good weed than Kay

   Chloroform makes a fine cologne... Every girl falls for me

   Rebecca Black is pregnant... she should have gotten in the front seat, not the back seat.

   Love is never wrong...Especially when that love is between two young carefree ladies who have wandering hands and a deep curiosity for experimentation...Yea that's some real love :)

   Like the egg said to the boiling water...It's going to take me a few minutes to get hard, I just got laid last night. Cluck cluck cluck cluck.