Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5373 of 6370
Do you know why they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was taken.
Dad, you are like a father to me.
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11-30-2010 02:27
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I won a trip to China now am stuck here waiting to win a trip back home
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11-30-2010 01:59 by kibobi
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I'm almost positive that Mariah Carey will give birth to a stuffed animal.
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11-30-2010 01:11
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found a short cut for this years Marathon
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11-30-2010 01:06
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Sarah Palin has a new reality TV show. Now all she has to do is enter reality.
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11-30-2010 00:26 by Lesley
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If your stepbrother is gay does that make him your half sister ?
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11-29-2010 23:13 by Damnfool
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born with no eyelids. Doctor used some of the extra foreskin from my circumcision to make some. He said I would be fine, just a little cock-eyed.
Studies show that excessive poking can make you go blind.
RIP Leslie Nielsen. Shirley, he will be missed.
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11-29-2010 22:51 by RyRy
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Please stop telling me how poor you are via Facebook for iPhone.... really?
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11-29-2010 22:46
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The weather is such a slut, when its hot out it makes everyone take there cloths off, the wind is always blowing people, the rain make everybody wet, and the snow covers everybody in white stuff.
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11-29-2010 22:42 by will i am
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I prefer to learn from someone elses mistakes.
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11-29-2010 22:14
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wants to go back in time and give the person just about to invent the "high five" a high five, then sit back and watch the universe implode
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11-29-2010 22:00
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I almost got to go skiing....but my husband got mad when he saw me spraying WD-40 on the bottom of his skis...
my New Year's Resolution is to travel back in time and stop Jersey Shore from EVER being made.
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11-29-2010 21:36
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French couple claims to have found 271 unknown Picassos. Suspiciously, one of them is "Still Life with McRib."
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11-29-2010 21:31 by jdpower
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US Military is experimenting with robots. Part of new program, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't Rise Up and Kill Us."
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11-29-2010 21:30 by jdpower
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Am I the only one thats addicted to air?
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11-29-2010 21:29
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We can forgive Ireland's $70 billion debt. But we must never forgive them for Riverdance.
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11-29-2010 21:29 by jdpower
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