Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5370 of 6370
doesnt understand why some ppl are so sensitive to words...I guess there must be an essence of guilt behind those words,,,Get over it
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12-01-2010 01:50 by orania
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has hot water again...and a new found appreciation for her non plumber husband, who installed the HW heater perfectly...and looked kinda sexy with all that plumbers crack hangin out....hmmmm....think I'll go pollish his tool....!
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12-01-2010 01:41 by Orania
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wondering if anybody can send me some energy... not farmville energy .. or not frontierville energy.. just plain body energy
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12-01-2010 01:39 by orania
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To save time, let's just assume I know everything.
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12-01-2010 01:24
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"Only one store has been a part of your life for 150 years. That's the power of MACY'S" Wow! They're really targeting the seniors with this commercial!
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12-01-2010 00:45
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suffering from PMS (Pre Marital Stress)
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12-01-2010 00:29
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having a hard time deciding between a Boston Pancake or a German Knuckle Sandwich!
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12-01-2010 00:13 by confused
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Starbucks has announced that they will start selling beer and wine in their stores. Apparently, they've run out of sober people to sell their $9.00 cups of coffee to.
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11-30-2010 23:23
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Don't hope so....Wish so! Hope is nothing but a lazy wish :)
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11-30-2010 22:43
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When will it be socially acceptable to drink queso from a straw?
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11-30-2010 20:26 by jmigas
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Just brought his pet rock to the vet.
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11-30-2010 20:23
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I like my woman like I like my eggs....overeasy.
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11-30-2010 20:21
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I don't hold grudges. I simply maintain them until you apologize or admit that you are wrong.
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11-30-2010 20:08
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I don't hold grudges. I simply maintain them until you apologize or admit that you are wrong.
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11-30-2010 20:07
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True colors always shine through smokescreens.
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11-30-2010 20:00
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Since being subtle is wasted on the naive...... I WANT A BB GUN FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
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11-30-2010 19:22
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Hi, I was just curious cause I saw you noticing me so I'm just giving you a notice that I noticed you after you noticed me. Shall we chat or continue flirting from a distance?
money talks and right now its saying "Nah nah nah nah nah...you can't catch me!"
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11-30-2010 19:04
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Oh, look at the time.... The big hand says Fuck, and the little hand says Off
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11-30-2010 17:47 by Dr sticky
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Why is "one" the loneliest number? I've found that you can clear out a room even faster with a well-placed "number two."
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11-30-2010 17:32
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