Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
I have a small request to make to you. Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on a holiday. 
Why are Softballs hard?
going to quit drinking , when I woke up this morning my liver was sitting on the night stand smoking a cigarette and creaming at me "You B*stard
well god already hates me cause I dint 4wrd mail to 25 friends of mine. I will never be a wealthy man cause I dint 4wrd another mail of happy wealth to another 25 friends.i will never get the love of my life cause I dint 4wrd love chain mail to another 2
Excuse me,God,but this fig leaf is much too small!
They said the baby looked like me. Until they turned him the right way up.
thinks that when NASA conducts their search for "itelligent life" in the universe, they should first start with Earth.
wonders how you are going to feel when Facebook starts charging a usage fee. It's just a matter of time. Greedy corporate clones...
80's music is so 2002
No I havent lost my mind......i sold it on ebay!!!
Hmm, I knew I should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque....
i like it when theres lots of snow on the road it gives the cops an excuse for me to be swerving all over the road when I'm drunk
Before you send me any sick jokes about that murderer in the North East don't bother. It's not even rauolmoatly funny.
Why's Lil Wayne still in Jail? Someone should work on breaking him out. Call T-Pain, I hear he has a boat.
hotter then a priest on a playground..Bazinga
everyday I worry my friends are going to find out that I am not so witty and funny and the status wall will come crumbling down
I'm a lesbian and i'm ok. A butch all night and a femme all day.
Blow your mind -- smoke gunpowder.
Side note for the local weatherman if its 95° and feels like 105°.... then guess what dumbass?.. Its 105°
drinking music...most easily available drug...:) 