Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5237 of 6370
She didn't find, "Who lit the fuse on your tampon?!?", as funny as I did...
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01-24-2011 11:58
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Easily I approach, the microphone because I ain't no joke....
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01-24-2011 11:48
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I really don't give a flying fig WHO is in the Super Bowl. I just want to know who's hosting the party.
Grandchildren are god's reward for not killing your kids
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01-24-2011 11:39
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keep all of your issues in your tissue box and out of your status box!
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01-24-2011 11:37
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During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
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01-24-2011 11:35
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Why is it the people who talk the MOST, always seem to say the LEAST?!?
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01-24-2011 11:22
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Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it. Life is life, fight for it.
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01-24-2011 11:18 by Charbel
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Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little arms and legs. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case.
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01-24-2011 09:57
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Man that Bears loss hurt me more than my divorce
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01-24-2011 09:43 by SEAN
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Did you know that 'Go Hang A Salami' is 'I'm A Lasagna Hog' backwards?... ^_^
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01-24-2011 08:18
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Stalking is such a strong word. I prefer extreme follow the leader :)
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01-24-2011 08:15 by Dopey420
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I changed the name of my hard drive to 'that thang,' so once a month, my computer asks me if I wanna back that that thang up.
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01-24-2011 08:07 by Will
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Ok, who slipped me the laxatives?
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01-24-2011 06:41
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you can always tell someone who just started rooting for the Steelers, they never know how bout the "H" in Pittsburgh
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01-24-2011 04:58
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i didn't know that your favorite sport is Social Climbing.
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01-24-2011 03:16 by JRhyan
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Dress the way you want to be Addressed
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01-24-2011 03:12
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If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
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01-24-2011 01:08
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If you love me, let me know. If not, please take the $20 and finish the job.
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01-23-2011 23:45
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The Packers beat the Bears, I guess hunting season is officially over.
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01-23-2011 23:44
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