Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5224 of 6370
I went fishing for bottom feeders yesterday, and caught a R0unders!
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01-27-2011 20:17 by Will
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Ever have one of those days at work no matter who talks to you they sound the teacher from The Peanuts cartoons?
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01-27-2011 20:15
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Why am I still single? Because humans are not monogamous by nature.
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01-27-2011 20:09
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Im like cocaine: I'm white, highly addictive and ladies usually leave the bathroom with me on their face..
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01-27-2011 20:00 by Steven
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remembers the last thing a wise man said to me was "Help! I'm drowning!" I never knew what he meant by that tho... he was so wise.
Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.
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01-27-2011 18:48
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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
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01-27-2011 18:46
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Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting when somebody across the table is reading it?
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01-27-2011 18:45
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decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
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01-27-2011 18:42
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never be ashamed of who you are. Be ashamed of some of your Facebook friends. Eeek! Some of you are scary looking.
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01-27-2011 18:19
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On Tuesday night, I skipped seeing The President of the United States of America to see The Presidents of the United States of America. It was the right call.
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01-27-2011 18:10
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Roses are red, violets are blue, friend requests are good but who the hell are you?!?
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01-27-2011 18:01
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One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and too
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01-27-2011 17:57
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you know that show to catch a predator?waiting for the episode when the cameras come out and the guy pulls a fred sanford heart attack ...
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01-27-2011 17:42
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I look at my phone every time I hear the text or ringtone sounds in commercials.
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01-27-2011 17:18
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Think's that American Idol should bring back the "Trap Door" just to make it a little more interesting. \o/
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01-27-2011 16:28
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Dear Boys wearing skinny Jeans I can't breathe! Sincerely, Your Balls
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01-27-2011 16:02 by barry
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decided to become "The silent type." I'd let you know how that works out, but, you know, silence...
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01-27-2011 15:59
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Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go and still had the feeling that you wanted to stay?
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01-27-2011 15:36 by abbybaby
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Having heard that Steve Jobs is in hospital with only his iPad to comfort him, I've decided to release the cure for pancreatic cancer into the public domain. But only in Flash.
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01-27-2011 15:23 by trickz100
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