Funny Status Messages

   Mike Ahern took a viagra (it got got stuck in his neck now he has a stiff neck,) licked a smurf, ran over his cell phone in the dining room, talked to a banana and karate chopped his dog in the elevator. It's gonna be a looong day

   heres a bombshell just for you...turns out i've been lying too

   life is about kicking a$$ not kissing it!!!!!

   I was just told that it takes three sheep to make one sweater. Wow. Thats shocking. I didnt know sheep could knit.

   Most people who enjoy racecars don't know what a palindrome is

   Gravity is pulling my pants OFF!!! 0:)

   ..thinks having bags under your eyes is no big deal. It's finding the shoes to match is the real problem!

   Watagatapitusberry!

   facebook...u can poke another man's woman & he wont get mad about it

   Bachelors know more about women than married men, that's why they not married.

   wants you to know... Suck all you want, He will make more.

   i wish rihanna's nana would tell her what her name is!

   # is wondering on which day God created Justin Bieber... couldn't he have rested on that day too?

   I'm Keyser Söze

   King rule - Raja decide what PM and other minsters want to do. Now ministers and others will decide the fate of Raja.

   like superman just without the cape

   thinks Falcon needs to have his dose of Ritilin increased.

   building a weather balloon. But in my hoax, stay with me folks, I'll be using my imaginary transgendered hermaprodite pool boy, Joachim as the curious and missing victim. It's foolproof. There's no way this will go wrong.

   saw the HILLYBILLY that won the lottery bought a new car - and transfered his bumper sticker "PROUD FATHER of my NEPHEW"

   The last German who did THAT well on African soil was Rommel.