Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5088 of 6370
I asked my wife why her facebook password was SneezySleepyDopeyDocHappyBashfulGrumpy she said it needed to be seven characters
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03-08-2011 04:37 by seddy90
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My wife would buy anything. Just this afternoon I came home to find a naked man in her closet.
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03-08-2011 04:33 by seddy90
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to all the dead beat dads that messed up their daughters...thanks! Sincerely every guy that likes strippers
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03-08-2011 04:33 by flinnie
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...International Women's Day...Cause it's not like you want attention on any other day...
Boob is the perfect word in the dictionary..... the B looks like an aerial view of it, the OO is the front view of it... and the b looks like the side way view of it...(.)(.)
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03-08-2011 04:26
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scream in a Library, everyone just looks at you, but if you scream on a plane, everyone joins in!!?
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03-08-2011 02:21 by Laura
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Getting ready to go get me a box of Twinkies and Donuts. Duh, Winning.
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03-08-2011 02:17
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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time…” A southern fairytale begins “Y'all ain't gonna believe this s@%t…”
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03-08-2011 01:48 by BEGO
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28. They have changed the “Cookie Monster” into the “Veggie Monster” and still let Oscar live in a freakin' trashcan. Moral of the story kids, you can't eat cookies anymore-but because of this go live in a trash can and bitch at anyone coming
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03-08-2011 01:47
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I just lost my Job, I'm a Winner!!.
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03-08-2011 01:45 by Jeff P
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Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
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03-08-2011 01:33 by Laura
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What? Athletes AND celebrities use their product? Why, I'd be a fool NOT to have my credit card handy when I call!
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03-08-2011 00:14
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promises she's not stalking you... by the way you are out of milk
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03-08-2011 00:14
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I have to laugh, so Facebook is now correcting our errors with red squiggly lines, yet spelling Facebook they way they do is wrong?
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03-07-2011 23:54
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When Charlie Sheen said he had Tiger blood, he meant that he had been sleeping with hookers and his ex-wife caught him.
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03-07-2011 23:29
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Everytime I go to the pet store I feel compelled to ask the store clerk "where are all the b!tches at?"
I'm not drunk I'm just German
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03-07-2011 21:48 by ff1241
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The only effective way to end a Facebook conversation is with “LOL”
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03-07-2011 21:47 by BEGO
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X wondering what the weather's like in India. I think i'll call AT&T.
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03-07-2011 20:44 by BEGO
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I take an on ramp to the freeway as if I'm heading to the checkered flag...wish everyone else did!!