Funny Status Messages

   In light of recent reports, is Taco Bell allowed this Lent?

   I dont have a gambling problem!! How much you wanna bet?

   France, once again, takes up the fight in the defense of freedom and liberty.....

   Finger prick tests are being developed to test people for radiation in the wake of the Japan disaster. Apparently if the person's blood comes out glowing fluorescent green, there might be a problem.

   If you only have one photo on you're Facebook you are either a spammer, or a loser, either way don't request me as a friend.

   What does Mario spend all those gold coins on? He has one outfit, travels by foot & lives in the sewer

   Order Food, Eat Food, Put on a MAGA Hat, get kicked out, don't pay

   No one lives in Windmill Alley anymore. They all died of cancer.

   can’t stop thinking about people that first ate mushrooms they found and just had to go through trial and error of like, this one tastes like beef, this one killed Brian immediately and this one makes you see God for a week

   Do you know is not for some people smoking Marijuana the murder rate would be a lot higher than it is.. So get high and keep the murder rate low. . .

   North Korea and China are pretty much going to do what they want, because Asian culture does not respect Russian puppets.

   Trump is now claiming, that his Perrier water is being tapped.

   My toddler just demonstrated far superior negotiation skills than the President in talking his way into a cookie before dinner.

   If you have a facebook page that features both you and your girl....you're a h0m0.

   Seeing a spider is not a problem. It becomes a problem when you can no longer see it.

   my son's Elmo doll just grabbed my junk. Can I get in on the lawsuits??

   Roses are grey,,, Violets are grey,,, Friggin'-Woof. I HATE being a dog..

   Perfect boyfriend : Does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat and also Does not exist :P

   if you do the crime then expect to do the time!!

   Well, I watched the free fall but I couldn't even see him falling because his gigantic balls were in the way.