Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5009 of 6370
What's the big deal about the Southwest Airlines planes and a fuselage tear? I love a convertible.
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04-05-2011 07:03
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My mother always told me that a good man is hard to find. By that logic Bin Laden is the finest man to have ever lived.
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04-05-2011 05:41
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I typed an essay in Word about a concerned Bugs Bunny. I then saved it as 'Whats Up.doc'
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04-05-2011 05:29
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I just had an email saying "You may be entitled to £3750 for that accident you had." It must have been pretty bad, I can't even remember it happening.
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04-05-2011 05:29 by @clarkysj
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clocks visible at work should be banned. I can't stop glancing back at it after every task I complete. Its now 10:36
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04-05-2011 02:54
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In life you don't have to have a certain number of friends, you just need a number of friends you can be certain of.
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04-05-2011 02:03
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Don't you love it when you punch someone in the jaw & they don't drop so you get 2 punch em again in the temple.
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04-05-2011 01:57
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Its hard to Turn a Boy into a Man. Is even harder to Turn a Hoe into a Housewife.
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04-05-2011 01:55 by Seddy90
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There's no such thing as a dumb question, but there is such a thing as an inquisitive idiot.
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04-05-2011 01:46
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SHOW your true colors... and let people paint a picture of you.
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04-05-2011 01:24 by BONNIE
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Hide your true colors and let people paint their picture of you.
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04-05-2011 01:09 by zubin
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If my blood alcohol was Butler's shooting percentage, I could legally drive.
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04-05-2011 00:31 by jdpower
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Bowling is like doing meth, every time I spin I always end up in the gutter.
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04-04-2011 23:58
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When someone asks a dumb question it's really hard to not reply with a sarcastic answer
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04-04-2011 23:55 by Destiny
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wouldn't it be funny if TLC would combine people from Hoarders and people from I Have OCD for a new reality show???
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04-04-2011 23:53 by deatiny
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a picture speaks a thousand words.. but with photoshop, it tells a thousand lies..
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04-04-2011 23:50 by Destiny
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Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again we're going to have to let you go."
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04-04-2011 23:48 by Destiny
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At this rate, the government should start up a fuel stamp program
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04-04-2011 23:47 by Destiny
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Being able to read minds would be incredible...but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old
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04-04-2011 23:46 by Destiny
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A man goes to the Doctors with an hearing problem. Dr. says "Can you describe the symptoms" - "Yea sure, Homer is fat and drinks beer and Marge has blue hair!"
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04-04-2011 23:44 by Destiny
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