snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

   If I win the lottery I'm going to travel the world asking the citizens if they've ever heard of snow. When someone says WTF IS SNOW I'm home

   People act like they've never seen winter before. It happens every f'n year, ya know?

   With winter less than a week away, I've come to the vivid realization that, as human beings, we've been shortchanged by nature. How come we don't get to hibernate?

   Well OBVIOUSLY,, Winter is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese.

   Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation....

   I think I'll build me a snowman and dress him up as a security guard, leave him out front to guard that snow bank.

   After the debate last night and according to tradition we should have a long hard winter....Both Hillary and Donald saw their shadows.

   Since Rio de Janeiro is south of the equator, aren't we technically watching the Winter Olympics?

   "Winter is Coming" -Melania Trump

   What winter jacket brand is best if I'll be spending the months of July and August in the Corporate Office Building?

   Thank god our Founding Fathers didn't decided to declare independence in winter, it's BBQ and beach time!!!

   Your body expands in the Summer which is why it's important to use weight in the Winter.

   Cryogenics is nothing new. My landlord has been freezing our bodies every winter for years.

   I worry about ridiculous things. You know, how does a guy who drives a snow plough get to work in the morning? That can keep me awake for days.

   Sorry your winter coat is getting more action than you are this spring.

   After all the eating I have done this winter, I am happy to report my flip-flops still fit.

   I gained so much Winter weight, I had to go buy a pregnancy test just to be sure

   In the future, imagine how many Go-Pros will be found buried under snow in the mountains containing the last moments of people's lives...

   The Farmer's Almanac predicts a mild winter, a dry summer, and no sex for me until at least 2026.

   The snow storm is way too white, I think it's time to boycott.