abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Someone needs to uninvent the internet so we can all start getting some stuff done.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 17:33 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things of high shelves.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 23:13 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 09:15 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon it bad when I'm talking to myself and I'm not even listening?
←Rate | 03-06-2011 15:47 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just met one of those people that start laughing at things you said 10 minutes ago....because they just "got it"
←Rate | 02-17-2011 15:05 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex said I would always have the key to her heart, so I take it that her new man is a locksmith?
←Rate | 02-20-2011 18:40 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck
←Rate | 02-23-2011 20:40 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not really stalking if you don't catch me doing it.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 20:28 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do all the beautiful women with blond hair, dye their roots brown?
←Rate | 02-18-2011 12:07 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport. You'll get a free x-ray, a breast exam, and if you mention Al Qaeda you will get a free colonoscopy
←Rate | 02-21-2011 23:10 by Abbybaby34 Comments (2)  


   messageicon "Let's save this so we can throw it away in few days" - Tupperware
←Rate | 02-22-2011 17:44 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.
←Rate | 02-14-2011 11:52 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Blackberries are like girls, they only work when you rub one little button. iPhones are like men. One touch, anywhere and they respond.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 17:53 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook keeps showing me my ex "people you may know" Yes, FB, "People I wish I didn't know" quit taunting me on Vday!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 11:52 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you got attacked by a bunch of homeless people would you be bummed?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 18:06 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon would like to remind any unhappy souls today that St Valentine was beaten to death with clubs
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:30 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right
←Rate | 02-19-2011 15:57 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation...Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:15 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting 3 inches of snow per hour. My front yard looks like Charlie Sheen's coffee table.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 15:34 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."
←Rate | 02-14-2011 13:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  



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