abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My ex said I would always have the key to her heart, so I take it that her new man is a locksmith?
←Rate | 02-20-2011 18:40 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Always remember to be yourself. Unless you suck
←Rate | 02-23-2011 20:40 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's not really stalking if you don't catch me doing it.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 20:28 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can't afford a doctor, go to an airport. You'll get a free x-ray, a breast exam, and if you mention Al Qaeda you will get a free colonoscopy
←Rate | 02-21-2011 23:10 by Abbybaby34 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Guys, if you really want her to stop complaining about the toilet seat being up, pee with it down a few times.
←Rate | 02-11-2011 22:21 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.
←Rate | 02-24-2011 17:33 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Drinking doesn't make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them...
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:29 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The amount of sleep required by the average person is just five minutes more...
←Rate | 03-01-2011 11:45 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Blackberries are like girls, they only work when you rub one little button. iPhones are like men. One touch, anywhere and they respond.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 17:53 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook keeps showing me my ex "people you may know" Yes, FB, "People I wish I didn't know" quit taunting me on Vday!
←Rate | 02-14-2011 11:52 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon While most people are becoming older and wiser, I'm becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:35 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you got attacked by a bunch of homeless people would you be bummed?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 18:06 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want me to go running with you, I'm going to need some motivation...Like a clown waving a bloody knife and chasing us.
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:15 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best way to win an argument is to play dead.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 09:21 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Getting 3 inches of snow per hour. My front yard looks like Charlie Sheen's coffee table.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 15:34 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon would like to remind any unhappy souls today that St Valentine was beaten to death with clubs
←Rate | 02-14-2011 17:30 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somethings are best unsaid but my brain to mouth filter has never worked right
←Rate | 02-19-2011 15:57 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things of high shelves.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 23:13 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day."
←Rate | 02-14-2011 13:43 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Telling me to calm down is the only guaranteed way to piss me off.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 10:04 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  

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