Funny Status Messages Search

X says Just went to the kitchen for water and came back up without it. Now I have to go back to the kitchen.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-24-2011 17:34 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says When people try extra hard to cover the keypad as they enter their pin at the ATM, I always want to whisper, "I saw it" when they're done.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-24-2011 20:26 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says It's not really stalking if you don't catch me doing it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-24-2011 20:28 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 11:00 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says If it takes you more than an hour to answer a text message I will assume that you're dead.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 11:00 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that IS the IQ test.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 11:32 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says Deleting all emails as they come in without reading them. Like a boss.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 15:25 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 15:26 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says It's official I've finally been over notified.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 15:26 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says Who would have thought that giving an actor with a history of drug addiction $2 million an episode would have turned out badly?

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 15:27 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-25-2011 23:08 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says You'd be amazed how often I'm wrong when people say guess what.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-26-2011 11:04 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)

X says Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a bat.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-26-2011 20:02 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-27-2011 15:59 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says Don't get me wrong. I totally hear what you're saying...I just don't care.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-27-2011 17:13 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says I'm just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-27-2011 17:43 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says Look, I know you have your "swag on" but can you walk a little bit faster?

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-27-2011 21:06 by Abbybaby34 Comments (2)

X says Ever want to answer every question with a middle finger? That's kinda where I'm at today.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2011 11:51 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says As kids we want to be adults who can do whatever they want and as adults we wish we were kids who can do whatever they want

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2011 16:14 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)

X says we all know "watch a movie" means "I wanna be in the dark with you"

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-28-2011 18:06 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)