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Page: 5 of 9
X says Just went to the kitchen for water and came back up without it. Now I have to go back to the kitchen.
X says When people try extra hard to cover the keypad as they enter their pin at the ATM, I always want to whisper, "I saw it" when they're done.
X says It's not really stalking if you don't catch me doing it.
X says Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis.
X says If it takes you more than an hour to answer a text message I will assume that you're dead.
X says When a spambot tells you to click a link to take an IQ test, that IS the IQ test.
X says Deleting all emails as they come in without reading them. Like a boss.
X says Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.
X says It's official I've finally been over notified.
X says Who would have thought that giving an actor with a history of drug addiction $2 million an episode would have turned out badly?
X says If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.
X says You'd be amazed how often I'm wrong when people say guess what.
X says Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a bat.
X says Maybe you should eat make-up so you can be pretty on the inside.
X says Don't get me wrong. I totally hear what you're saying...I just don't care.
X says I'm just like everyone else: I put my straight jacket on one buckle at a time.
X says Look, I know you have your "swag on" but can you walk a little bit faster?
X says Ever want to answer every question with a middle finger? That's kinda where I'm at today.
X says As kids we want to be adults who can do whatever they want and as adults we wish we were kids who can do whatever they want
X says we all know "watch a movie" means "I wanna be in the dark with you"