Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4978 of 6371
I like to go to telemarketing firms and interrupt their job by eating my dinner loudly.
A real woman not accept expensive gifts from a man she is not attracted to and has no intention of dating. But a gold-digger would.
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09-02-2011 01:02
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Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream.
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09-09-2011 14:22 by John69
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You hear people say don't feed squirrels or birds b/c it will affect the animals' instincts/skills and negatively affect the entire ecosystem. Maybe people nowadays's should apply that philosophy to child rearing.....
One morning my girlfriend asked me if I slept well and I replied 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
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03-10-2011 02:58
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facebook needs a facelift!
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04-06-2011 19:43
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my wife said she let a sbd go in church I said she needed new batteries for her hearing aid.
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04-06-2011 19:57
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apparently on NBC, first word of bin Laden's death pre-empted the final few minutes of Sunday's East Coast airing of the Trump-hosted reality show, Celebrity Apprentice. "This begs the question: How do we kill bin Laden again NEXT Sunday?"
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05-03-2011 19:52
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I just wanted Apple to know that I am still waiting for my iToilet.
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05-07-2011 21:19 by Kgenelle
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running for the phone charger like it's the end of the world
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05-16-2011 22:57 by Deano
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I got their girl going down like the ps3 network!
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05-18-2011 03:26 by J-Fraze
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about to pour my friend a shot of chilled boiled hotdog water... shhhhhh
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01-30-2011 13:08 by ROMAN
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the only thing your "pajama jeans" match is your "sketcher's shape-ups"
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02-05-2011 23:58
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Latest survey's shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population
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02-06-2011 12:38
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fruit of the day: kumquat.
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02-20-2011 21:32
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I'm about to make like the FCC and get the *bleep* outta here.
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02-22-2011 16:25 by MyClueIs
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tired of trying to be perfect, and has decided instead to try to just be herself, in hopes that one day, just maybe, that will be enough. Besides, everyone else is already taken.
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03-01-2011 23:00 by Molly
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Relax. Let the world turn without your help. Don't try so hard to be in control of everything.
Chris Schwarzenegger should be less concerned with the collapsed lung and more with the fact that his family has a replacement standing by.
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07-23-2011 00:03
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I like to meet the parents drunk so they don't get the wrong idea of what kind of guy I am.