Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4948 of 6370
Yesterday, Jesus, son of Mary arose from the dead. This morning... Bob, son of Joan... did not fare as well.
by the end of this week, most women will "wake" up from that royal wedding...
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04-25-2011 10:09
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living the dream ...one fist pump at a time
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04-25-2011 08:07 by bill
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British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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04-25-2011 07:42 by Griff
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The television is not a magical device that communicates all your criticism to your favourite sports team. STOP YELLING AT IT!
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04-25-2011 06:51
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I would take a bullet for u.. Not a real one mind you. But a Coors Light for sure.
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04-25-2011 06:42
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I always Google before reading directions to anything !
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04-25-2011 06:15
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It's official. FaceBook is the new High5
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04-25-2011 06:12 by @Buddz31
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The best things are unseen,that's why we close our eyes when we Kiss,Laugh and Dream
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04-25-2011 06:09 by Imi
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I'm pretty sure that just before I get to Walmart some mental institution drops off its patients to go shopping
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04-25-2011 05:55 by flinnie
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Dr. Suess should have been a rapper.
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04-25-2011 02:57
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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe at 56 liters per day, and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!! :D
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04-25-2011 00:07 by TZ
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I may be fat, but you're ugly – I can lose weight!
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04-24-2011 23:29 by BEGO
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By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
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04-24-2011 23:27 by BEGO
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I laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
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04-24-2011 23:25 by BEGO
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Being in LOVE is like Being DRUNK. No control over what you do.
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04-24-2011 23:23 by BEGO
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Remember before the smartphone when you had to take your laptop into the bathroom with you? God, it's like we were cavemen.
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04-24-2011 23:16
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I just took some candy from my baby nephew. I must say it wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be....
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04-24-2011 22:36
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I'm setting my alarm for 3am Friday, so I can wake up, remember I don't give a shit about the royal wedding and go back to sleep
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04-24-2011 22:11
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I JUST WON MY EASTER EGG HUNT!!! Those 8 year olds didnt stand a chance to my pushing and sprinting. It was kinda like taking candy from a baby!