Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4943 of 6371
Since President Obama had to show his birth certificate... I am going to need Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann to show me a copy of their HS diploma... Because I have doubts..
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04-27-2011 12:14 by Q
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The strangest thing about Obama's birth certificate is that it lists Joe Biden as a witness to his birth. Other than that, it appears fine........
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04-27-2011 12:13 by Bill
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Dear Man, It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it? Sincerely, Elephant
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04-27-2011 10:48
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Dear Dr. Phil, Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first. Sincerely, Dr. Pepper
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04-27-2011 10:47
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Mr. President, now that we have the birth certificate we will need your SS#, credit card #'s, bank account #'s and all pins and passwords...Thanks Donald
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04-27-2011 10:16 by LauraP
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I'm having a royal wedding watching party...drinking beer out of tea cups. Pinkies up....chug chug chug
hitting balls into the field of dreams...
Out came the sun & dried up all the rain, and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again!
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04-27-2011 09:21 by hillguy
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the best part of sunny days is not having to read about everyone complaining about the weather
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04-27-2011 09:20
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I'm selling Royal Wedding barf bags for anyone else who is nauseous from seeing every sickening detail on TV.
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04-27-2011 09:17 by jrbirk
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When life seems to have turned it's back on you,stand up and kick it in the ass.
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04-27-2011 06:57
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Dear Boomtown Rats, It's true I can't tell you why YOU don't like Mondays, but here's a list of reasons why I don't....a) they start too early, b) they finish too late, c) they last ALL day, d) they just keep coming back EVERY FRICKIN WEEK. That is all.
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04-27-2011 06:44 by tdw
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I've just started a band called 999 Megabytes. We haven't done a gig yet.
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04-27-2011 06:31
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Dear cupcakes, the fact that you cover yourselves up with icing says alot about your self esteem. sincerely, muffins
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04-27-2011 06:20
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The Royal Wedding, live on YouTube. The Royal Honeymoon, live on RedTube.
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04-27-2011 06:06 by @clarkysj
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am I the only one that thinks that Prince William looks like a cross between John Elway and a Mongoloid?
This morning I surveyed 100 men and asked them what shampoo they used when showering...... 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"
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04-27-2011 02:57 by JAX RTS
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Well behaved Women rarely make History
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04-27-2011 02:53 by Sunil
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Woman are born to be the best liars and (man)ipulate you through their sympathy strategies
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04-27-2011 02:25 by Seddy90
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Lindsay Lohan drives drunk, was busted for coke, steals cars, steals necklaces, and still manages to get a standing ovation on Leno!?!!
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04-27-2011 01:57
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