Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4913 of 6370
some call it Self-medicating....we call it Happy Hour..
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05-04-2011 08:55
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Craigs List: ROOMATE WANTED!! Recently vacated room needs some TLC (carpet shampooing, wall cleaning/patching, ect..) Muslim family of 13 looking for a clean, non smoking male that is preferably NOT on the FBI Most Wanted list.
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05-04-2011 08:29 by Mc chill
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I hope Spongebob & Patrick make Krabby Patty's out of Bin Laden!
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05-04-2011 07:15
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Let's hope that Bin-Laden didn't make horcruxes.
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05-04-2011 07:12
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You know your tired when your alarm doesn't wake you up straight away, instead it just blends into your dream
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05-04-2011 06:56 by Thrasher
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Happy Star Wars Day, May the 4th be with you! xx
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05-04-2011 05:06 by spencerpt
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First England takes over the news with the Royal Wedding, then America with Osama. I predict a talking kangaroo within the next week...
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05-04-2011 03:29
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Maybe the people that say money can't buy happiness are just buying the wrong stuff?
I would really hate to be a politician...mostly because I couldn't say "fock you, a55hole" any time that I felt like it. :)
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05-04-2011 01:52 by ff1241
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May the fourth be with you.
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05-04-2011 00:08 by OB1
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Watch, Lady Gaga's going to buy Osama Bin Ladens body & wear it to next years Grammys.
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05-03-2011 23:04
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Everything is made in China except for babies... they're made in VaChina.
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
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05-03-2011 21:17 by BEGO
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It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
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05-03-2011 21:16 by BEGO
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Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills…making the last car payment.
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05-03-2011 21:15 by BEGO
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I love watching two girls meet each other. It's easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.
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05-03-2011 21:01 by BEGO
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Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
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05-03-2011 20:30
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You had me at Rice Krispies Treats
thinking between the death of Osama bin Laden and the marriage of Kate Middleton and Prince William it's an exciting time to be in the commemorative plate business!!!!
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05-03-2011 19:54
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noticed that on the same night Obama was ordering the Navy to kill bin laden, his potential opponent in 2012, Donald Trump, was busy firing Playmate of the Month Hope Dworaczyk........
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05-03-2011 19:53
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