Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4896 of 6370
if a fly could stop all its nonesense I think it could produce honey
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05-11-2011 05:41
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The 3 C's of life…Choice, Chance, Change...Make the Choice to take the Chance if you want to Change.!!!
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05-11-2011 05:26 by Sozzle
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I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought "That's just spam."
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05-11-2011 04:48 by @clarkysj
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With all the money used during war in afghanistan, the americans could have written f*ck off bin laden on the moon!
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05-11-2011 04:30
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When did advertising with tweakers and homeless people with signs become the norm?
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05-11-2011 04:22
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WARNING FOR ATTRACTIVE MEN: Aliens have come to Earth and are planning to abduct the smart and good-looking. But don't worry, I've alien-proofed my bedroom. You can be safe there...
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05-11-2011 03:16
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The only thing I know of that is beautiful & ugly at the same time is seeing one of my updates stolen. Oh, and Angelina Jolie taking a dump.
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05-11-2011 01:14
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God heals, and the Doctor takes the Fees.
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05-11-2011 00:15
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searching Netflix for a movie to watch and found one that's titled after what all the women of my past have said to me... "I Love You, Don't Touch Me!"
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05-10-2011 23:51
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You know you were raised Catholic when you're watching Star Wars and hear "the force be with you" and you respond "and also with you."
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05-10-2011 23:37 by punkie
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just ate from an unmarked tupperware container at the back of the fridge. I think it was chicken yogurt.
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05-10-2011 23:26
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The person who loves you more.. Will fight with you daily.. Without any reason But.. Whenever you're sad he will fight with the world to end your sadness..
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05-10-2011 23:25
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Don't waste your time on things that only hurt you, and remember to forget those who forget you.
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05-10-2011 22:32 by BEGO
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Drama = Dumb Retard Asking for More Attention
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05-10-2011 22:20 by BEGO
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Money doesn't bring happiness although… shopping does!
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05-10-2011 22:16 by BEGO
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I think it's okay for dorks to stare at beautiful women. I mean, it's not like they can see us anyway.
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05-10-2011 22:15 by BEGO
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Angry Birds suicide hotline, which level are you stuck on?
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05-10-2011 22:14 by BEGO
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Doing the job of three men, Larry Moe and Curly.
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05-10-2011 22:09
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going to the drive-in in my RV and parking right in front of you!
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05-10-2011 21:57
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My farts aren't usually this loud. This chair just makes them echo.
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05-10-2011 20:28
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