Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Obama qoute 2008 ''Navy seal team Six is Cheneys private assanation team! Obama qoute 2011 ''I put together Navy seal team Six to take out Bin Laden!''

   When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it

   out discovering new fears.

   believes in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it..

   got to live every week like it's shark week.

   thinks mother nature is bi-polar and is off her meds!!

   I absolutetly love drinking water... too bad they don't mention the ingredients on the bottle I'd like to make some at home...

   My mom used to say I'm wasting my life playing video games. Then I thought "no sweat, I've got 2 more lives."

   Life without chocolate is like a beach without water.

   finds is dam funny that Chris Brown sang the American anthem at one of the biggest boxing matches in 5 years...

   make sure your wearing Deodorant when you reaching for the stars.

   wishes you were an Etch and Sketch. I'd shake the sh!t out of you and watch you disappear.

   might be bright out 2 day.. I'll probably be squinting like a Chilean miner...

   Its 1:40 am....do you know where your girlfriend is? Um......neither do I. But I'm sure she is in good hands.

   if you know Dasher, Dancer and Prancer, then isn't it a really dumb question to ask if you know the MOST famous reindeer of them all

   Wants Santa to bring me one of the hot girls thats on his naughty list

   finds it sad that the Who's hit single, "Who Are You," has a whole new meaning -- Alzheimers

   When you don't know what to say: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

   If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of

   wondering if IHOP is going to sue Apple for copyright infringement?