love Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If somebody doesn't text me back within 5 minutes I assume they don't love me or that they've died from loving me too much.
←Rate | 10-02-2016 16:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You used to be able to tell a finicky child his meal was made with love. Now they double check if it's gluten-free love.
←Rate | 10-15-2016 21:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!
←Rate | 12-11-2016 22:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't make me fall in love with your aloof disregard for my existence
←Rate | 04-15-2017 02:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hate conflict........unless you guys like it,in that case I love it.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 16:00 by Cicci Comments (0)  


   messageicon Date *sitting on couch* I love scary movies Me: ok but this is pretty dark, it's about a boy plagued by haunted dolls Date: Sounds good! Me: The cowboy one is called Woody
←Rate | 10-16-2019 07:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want to suffocate, sorry I mean love you.
←Rate | 04-16-2018 02:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: I love that thing you do to make me moan. Me: *makes another plate of nachos*
←Rate | 08-27-2019 07:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon .i. love \i/
←Rate | 05-31-2010 23:33 by facebook.com/taitruong Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Love" is purely a chemical imbalance of serotonin, dopamine, & norepinephrine. It is nothing magical or "special"; just simply an irregularity in the brain; a "two-faced high"
←Rate | 03-28-2010 04:37 by xokellyxo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the phrase "we're expecting" when talking about pregnancy, because it makes it sound like there's more than one outcome - "Yeah, we're expecting a baby.......... but it could very well be a Tyrannosaurus Rex"
←Rate | 12-28-2011 23:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is too short to care about being skinny. I LOVE FOOD. Plus, there's plenty of time to be skinny when I'm dead.:-)
←Rate | 11-11-2010 06:29 by genny Comments (0)  


   messageicon s Akon 2006 "I wanna f**k you" .. Akon 2008 " I wanna make love right now na na na" .. Akon 2010 "I just had sex!" .. poor guy waited 4 years!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 03:48 by Patty THE greatest Comments (1)  


   messageicon thinks Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
←Rate | 12-18-2009 22:43 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife has me held captive by her love.. and these handcuffs. But don't call the cops, this is not a cry for help.
←Rate | 07-24-2010 22:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love all of the sexual harassment jokes that everyone says at sexual harassment training.
←Rate | 06-16-2010 09:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're an American who feels that you are represented in your government, please contact me. I love people with imaginations.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 04:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to see Him soon.
←Rate | 02-21-2010 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm done looking for love, When it's ready...it can come find me.
←Rate | 07-24-2011 00:44 by spidey man Comments (0)  


   messageicon An ex should stay an EX. They`re an EXample of the wrong love & an EXplanation for why you deserve better!
←Rate | 03-15-2012 19:23 Comments (0)  




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