love Funny Status Messages
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If somebody doesn't text me back within 5 minutes I assume they don't love me or that they've died from loving me too much.
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10-02-2016 16:34
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You used to be able to tell a finicky child his meal was made with love. Now they double check if it's gluten-free love.
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10-15-2016 21:36
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Yes ... I suppose I am one of the few people that actually love Fruit Cakes!!! ....Heck .... I only need a few more ..... this year I hope to get enough to complete building my Brick wall!!
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12-11-2016 22:24
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Don't make me fall in love with your aloof disregard for my existence
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04-15-2017 02:04
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I really hate conflict........unless you guys like it,in that case I love it.
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05-06-2017 16:00 by Cicci
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Date *sitting on couch* I love scary movies Me: ok but this is pretty dark, it's about a boy plagued by haunted dolls Date: Sounds good! Me: The cowboy one is called Woody
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10-16-2019 07:19
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I just want to suffocate, sorry I mean love you.
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04-16-2018 02:40
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Her: I love that thing you do to make me moan. Me: *makes another plate of nachos*
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08-27-2019 07:27
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.i. love \i/

"Love" is purely a chemical imbalance of serotonin, dopamine, & norepinephrine. It is nothing magical or "special"; just simply an irregularity in the brain; a "two-faced high"
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03-28-2010 04:37 by xokellyxo
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I love the phrase "we're expecting" when talking about pregnancy, because it makes it sound like there's more than one outcome - "Yeah, we're expecting a baby.......... but it could very well be a Tyrannosaurus Rex"
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12-28-2011 23:19
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Life is too short to care about being skinny. I LOVE FOOD. Plus, there's plenty of time to be skinny when I'm dead.:-)
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11-11-2010 06:29 by genny
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s Akon 2006 "I wanna f**k you" .. Akon 2008 " I wanna make love right now na na na" .. Akon 2010 "I just had sex!" .. poor guy waited 4 years!

thinks Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
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12-18-2009 22:43 by mullerman
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My wife has me held captive by her love.. and these handcuffs. But don't call the cops, this is not a cry for help.
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07-24-2010 22:56
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I love all of the sexual harassment jokes that everyone says at sexual harassment training.
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06-16-2010 09:09
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If you're an American who feels that you are represented in your government, please contact me. I love people with imaginations.
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07-20-2012 04:15
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Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to see Him soon.
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02-21-2010 08:45
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I'm done looking for love, When it's ready...it can come find me.

An ex should stay an EX. They`re an EXample of the wrong love & an EXplanation for why you deserve better!
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03-15-2012 19:23
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