Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
4629
4630
4631
4632
4633
4634
4635
4636
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 4633 of 6446
Ladies, if you want a guy to look at your face instead of your chest, eat a banana.
4
5
←Rate |
05-06-2016 05:30
Comments (
0
)
Sasquatch is just a regular quatch who tells it like it is.
4
5
←Rate |
05-13-2016 16:56
Comments (
0
)
Oh no, I'm at that level of airplane drunk where I just almost stood up to go and smoke a cigarette.
4
5
←Rate |
05-14-2016 05:00
Comments (
0
)
"The Army is releasing Osama bin Laden documents including his final words, 'Who in the hell is knocking on my door at this hour?'
4
5
←Rate |
05-14-2016 13:28
Comments (
0
)
Nothing has held me back in life more than not knowing which U.S. National Park I am. If only there was a way to find out.
4
5
←Rate |
05-16-2016 13:38
Comments (
0
)
How many more of these body wraps do I have to eat before I start losing inches?
4
5
←Rate |
05-20-2016 18:50 by
huck
Comments (
0
)
No one has stolen my lunch at work since I started labeling it “Stool Sample.”
4
5
←Rate |
05-20-2016 19:20 by
flinnie
Comments (
0
)
Pretty sure most 9 month olds are doing 5-Hour Energy shots behind our backs.
4
5
←Rate |
05-30-2016 03:40
Comments (
0
)
Every single time I have fallen into the gorilla cage, the zoo workers shot at me!!!
4
5
←Rate |
05-30-2016 18:57
Comments (
0
)
Sometimes I wonder if my dog ever thinks about finding his biological siblings.
4
5
←Rate |
06-01-2016 04:54
Comments (
0
)
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
4
5
←Rate |
06-02-2016 01:22
Comments (
0
)
I'm allergic to bears. One bear bite and it's straight to the ER for me.
4
5
←Rate |
06-02-2016 01:33
Comments (
0
)
For some reason the electric wire on top of a 6.5 foot fence enclosing our condo actually makes me feel less safe.
4
5
←Rate |
06-04-2016 05:50
Comments (
0
)
[enter new password] *CVSReceipt* [password too long]
4
5
←Rate |
06-11-2016 08:11 by
Snotty
Comments (
0
)
I asked her how her day went 4 days ago and she is still telling me about it.
4
5
←Rate |
06-15-2014 11:55 by
Kisstopher707
Comments (
0
)
I don't know what the big deal is about this whole Love trade thing. Its nothing new! Isn't that the world's oldest profession?
4
5
←Rate |
08-07-2014 13:15
Comments (
0
)
Imagine a person who really loves hearing you talk. Now go talk to THAT person.
4
5
←Rate |
09-02-2014 15:44
Comments (
0
)
Only if humans respected each other's private space as much as wild animals do.
4
5
←Rate |
09-06-2014 06:39
Comments (
1
)
"But what does it mean?" - WOMEN
4
5
←Rate |
09-16-2014 14:32 by
Baddie
Comments (
0
)
First date idea: Stare at your phones and wonder if there’s anything better happening somewhere else.
4
5
←Rate |
09-16-2014 14:33
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
4629
4630
4631
4632
4633
4634
4635
4636
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com