Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4558 of 6370
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
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08-26-2011 05:28
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To the man who said money can't buy real happiness..... you just didn't know where to shop dude....!
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08-26-2011 05:10 by dickward
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girls with flat chests and guys with hips deserve each other.......its only fair.
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08-26-2011 04:50
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Females that utter males terms such as "Suck My D*ck" will NEVER get married.
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08-26-2011 02:51
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Today I met a FOOL who has both, his girlfriend and her mother as friends on his Facebook.
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08-26-2011 02:33
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Every time I lose some weight, I find it again in the refrigerator.
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08-26-2011 01:29
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Before you go in and fight for something, just make sure its worth the effort and time.
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08-26-2011 01:27
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Relationships are like math problems. Sometimes you have to take someone out of the equation, put someone else in, and everything balances out.
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08-26-2011 01:20
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Sitting here eating a dozen wings thinking how badly I want to be a vegetarian.
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08-26-2011 00:09
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Shakespear in prison: To take it or not to take it, THAT is the question
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08-26-2011 00:08
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Steve Jobs' text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" autocorrect gone bad strikes again!
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08-25-2011 23:49 by PMP
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Uncle sam & all his relatives gotta take a piece of my paycheck. Half of these people I don't even know what they do...like who the hell is FICA???
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08-25-2011 22:37
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playing cards is a lot like marriage...if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand.
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08-25-2011 22:13
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I hope hurricane Irene takes care of "Jersey Shore"... Permanently!
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08-25-2011 22:09 by Malichai
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WOW! Monty Hall turns 90 today - apparently he was offered 12 more year of healthy living, or he could trade it for what's behind door #2
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08-25-2011 21:50
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May the force of Hurricane Irene wipe out the entire "Jersey Shore" cast. Lord, hear our prayer!
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08-25-2011 21:29
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has a bad case of SRH!!! (Sperm retention headache)
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08-25-2011 21:21
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Why is it that when I get 50 napkins at McDonalds I don't use any, but when subway gives me two they're gone in 10 seconds.
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08-25-2011 20:46
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I can't decide if this thick orange sky color over New York is beautiful or too close to a chemical attack of some sort.
Am I a hypochondriac? Well, a cloud just went in front of the sun and I thought I was fainting.