Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   is just me, or does anyone else's cold medina taste a little funky?

   Facebook is the only place where it's normal to talk to a wall!

   UGA 55, LA Lafayette 7...looks like BP wasn't the only ones to screw LA this summer.

   We stand, we fall, we stand right back up and whoop a$$. Let the innocent souls be felt on this day.

   Its National Regret-Your-TATTOO DAY. (Not really but it cant be too far off)

   buying illegal things on the internet.

   Never kick a fresh terd on a hot day!

   real soon i'll need a better excuse than "sorry i'm trapped in the chilean mines right now"...

   I've got the 28th pick in my Fantasy Chilean miner league. Let's hope there's some good ones still down there.

   God created man before woman... but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

   just getting jiggy with it!

   Stay classy Facebook.

   ...so you're talking and you feel like no one's listening at all? rip off a good loud fart. that'll get everybody's attention!

   Some git has stolen a pair of my wifes knickers of the washing line shes not bothered just wants the 22 pegs back

   Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.....and who said statistics don't have a beginning, middle, and end.

   not saying my ex was dumb, but she poured the Frosted Flakes on the dining room table because she thought it was a tiger puzzle...

   Now that people are posting what Organ donors they are on FB, I am going to friend all the Liver Donors..- Good to keep drinking:)

   My girfriend's a h00ker with an IQ of 178. What a f**king know-it-all.

   Saw a lady walking her son through my neighborhood on a leash, so naturally I asked if I could pet him.

   valentine's day is just another pointless day, why do we celebrate it when its really about st.valentine gettin brutally murdered its abit like easter were the hell do chocolate eggs an rabbits come into things when its about jesus????