Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Harlem shake is just an excuse to go full retard for approximately 30 seconds.

   Miley Miley Miley ..... I think you and that referee last night broke your daddy's achy breaky heart .... I just don't think he'd understand ..... Wheeeee hooooooo !

   Stay in drugs, eat your school, and don't do vegetables

   I'm pretty sure there's a Bruno Earth somewhere on Mars.

   Girls who say " A lot of guys are after me", should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.

   What happens on Facebook stays on Facebook, forever!!!

   Vanilla Ice wasn't as terrible as he's been made out to be... He's just had a bad rap.

   I'm really looking forward to the hurricane coverage to see which news reporter falls flat on their face from the wind...Ahhh, watching them fall never gets old!

   Can we please have a moment of silence for the respect we lost for Hugo Chavez?

   Advice please. I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had “you win” written on it. Do I celebrate with white wine or red?

   When this Ho on Maury found out that the 36th dude tested wasn't the Father, she ran so far backstage, I flipped the Channel and she was running across the set of ESPN!

   Hey look, Grandma!.. You made the cover of "Didn't Make Me Any Cookies Weekly" again....

   I hate people who talk about sex all the time!! Sex is a great thing, it's makes the world go round, without sex there is no humanity, how can someones think about sex that much!! That's why I never talk about sex.

   Today is a 'No F unny updates Day' all status lifters are are required to read a book or go do some community work for their plagiarism crimes.

   I may not go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.

   Trump needs to stop worrying about Mueller and start worrying about Giuliani

   Today on the History Channel: The world went crazy because...social media went missing for a few hours and they ended up getting work done...watch the devastating 5 part series saga

   that's pathetic: that the iphone 13 is identical to it's previous models but only give us a better battery life. Sad part is people fall for apple laziness

   The latest dose of social media insanity comes to us via the TikTok inspired 'Slap A Teacher' Challenge. Good ol' TikTok... where never before has the Lowest Common Denominator been so well represented.

   Sex is like math,you ADD the bed,SUBTRACT the cloths,DIVIDE the legs,and pray you don't MULTIPLY...