Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4309 of 6369
Guess what? I'm dead. And if you think I stunk before, you should get a whiff of me now.-Ghadafi
Okay...Who else keeps clicking the "Help Center" tab instead of "Log Out"? Facebook's just keeping us on our toes, and driving us out of our minds.
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10-26-2011 10:28
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CORONER: Amy Winehouse died from too much alcohol. hmmm alcohol kills and is legal but weed doesn't kill and is illegal hmmmm
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10-26-2011 10:22
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If you people would GET OFF THE PHONE you could drive better!
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10-26-2011 10:05
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■The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
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10-26-2011 10:02
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My favorite statement to hear from a person walking by: "Hey, sorry, my phone does wierd things to me"
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10-26-2011 09:58
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Clemson Vs Georgia Tech this weekend........ Up for Clemson....... Down for Georgia Tech
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10-26-2011 09:55
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Great news! My Halloween book, "Fun-Sizing Your Way to Diabetes," is now available on the Kindle!
The truth shall set you free... if you have a spare $100,000 for legal fees.
If you want to lose "friends"....tell the truth.
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10-26-2011 09:40 by Danmanz
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Some peoples confidence is too close to arrogance to take them seriously
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10-26-2011 09:17
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Admit it, at one time in your life you went a public washroom and didnt wash your hands after because nobody else would see you
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10-26-2011 09:03
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You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. F*cking act like it.
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10-26-2011 08:55
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I shot someone with a starting pistol.I've been charged with race crimes
Don't you just hate it when people think there clever but use the wrong grammar?
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10-26-2011 08:43 by voltiare
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just been given two weeks to live.The girlfriends gone away for a fortnight.
Somebody called me 'pretentious' the other day.I nearly choked on my latte.
I love getting fresh clean underwear out of the dryer....I just wish I knew who they belong to!
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10-26-2011 08:36 by Suski
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Have you heard about that new film about the tractor? I only saw the trailer
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10-26-2011 08:29 by zepplin
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was just thinking ... are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?