Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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4139

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Obama gets a Nobel prize after sending 30k more troops. Stay tuned, next week Tiger Woods wins husband of the year.

←Rate | 12-10-2009 13:51 by Fel Comments (0)

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

←Rate | 12-11-2009 18:00 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)

it's one thing for Tiger to promote Nike and the slogan "just do it," but it's another thing to live by it.

←Rate | 12-12-2009 02:46 Comments (0)

knows a lot of people that will corner the market on coal this Christmas

←Rate | 12-13-2009 23:53 Comments (0)

Better to be bad and remembered than be good and forgot

←Rate | 12-15-2009 23:00 Comments (0)

There are 2 types of people on Facebook: those who have a way with words, and the others, who, don't... not... have... way.

←Rate | 12-16-2009 16:21 by jake Comments (0)

doing research to come up with a vaccine for stupidity. Please donate accordingly.

←Rate | 12-28-2009 21:05 Comments (0)

shocked by the attempted plane bombing. After all those emails about lotteries and wealthy strangers who want to transfer hundreds of thousands to my account, he thought we could trust the Nigerians.

←Rate | 12-31-2009 00:30 by Tim Comments (0)

BE NICE to kids...SERIOUSLY they have weapons now!!!

←Rate | 01-04-2010 22:15 Comments (0)

Sick of all these crap diets on tv here is the best 1 for ya stop shovelling junk food in ya trap

←Rate | 01-06-2010 11:00 Comments (0)

wonders why people only see ghosts at night? Probably for the same reason nobody sees UFO's in the city

←Rate | 01-06-2010 19:23 Comments (0)

..if I want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet ,i'll put shoes on my cats!

←Rate | 01-07-2010 18:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

←Rate | 01-08-2010 23:54 Comments (0)

Must be nice living in never neverland, maybe I'll come visit you when I need a break from reality!

←Rate | 01-11-2010 18:11 by ANGELA Comments (0)

really hungry now but I have to serve the virtual eggheads at cafe world first.. aaahh! I need to get a life!

←Rate | 01-11-2010 18:48 Comments (0)

Leroy Jethro Gibbs>American Idol

←Rate | 01-12-2010 20:37 by nitsua Comments (0)

The U.S. is always helping out other countries in their time of need, well I think its safe to say that the U.S. needs help....were's our relief funds?!

←Rate | 01-13-2010 15:42 Comments (0)

learnt that 'practice makes perfect' does not apply to knife juggling

←Rate | 01-13-2010 20:54 Comments (0)

man today is better than that day when I was in the 6th grade and I hired that stripper to come to show and tell!!!!

←Rate | 01-14-2010 17:32 Comments (0)

...was a child, she spoke as a child, thought as a child; when she grew up she put away childish things... But then she discovered FaceBook!