Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   She has a body built like Pikachu

   Revenge is my policy...

   welcome back FRIDAY !!! I knew you coming back ,im fully charged and ready to get wasted with you ;)

   It'll be weird when names like Heather and Ashley are old people names.

   If Yo family says they're proud of you for graduating from everest that means they didn't think you would live that long

   I want to break down your wall so I can build another one around us.

   Love songs are liars.

   Dude, you're going bald. That ballcap and shoulder length hair don't hide the fact.

   I love going to the gym. They have free internet!

   bout to go save the world............it's the only place with chocolate

   you learn alot about one's Backbone, Mainly when they say one thing to your face and another behind your back.

   busy filling water balloons with fire hoses.

   If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

   not been this broke since he went carol singing with the Tourettes Association

   thinking about the similarities between men and soap operas. They're fun to watch, but don't believe everything you hear.

   Don't worry if your job is small and your rewards are few. Remember the mighty oak was once a nut like you!

   people who take really good care of their farmville probably have the ugliest room

   ...is wondering if some other horse went all "Tonya Harding" on former Derby favorite Eskendereya... 

   if you ever want a confidence boost just turn on your tv and watch Maury. If that doesnt help, you need help.

   Here it comesssss.... WOOT! WOOT! There it goessssssss.... "CHA-CHING!" Man, Payday Sux! :P