snow OR flurries OR winter Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Your body expands in the Summer which is why it's important to use weight in the Winter.
←Rate | 06-14-2016 01:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cryogenics is nothing new. My landlord has been freezing our bodies every winter for years.
←Rate | 05-13-2016 05:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I worry about ridiculous things. You know, how does a guy who drives a snow plough get to work in the morning? That can keep me awake for days.
←Rate | 05-08-2016 06:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sorry your winter coat is getting more action than you are this spring.
←Rate | 04-08-2016 16:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon After all the eating I have done this winter, I am happy to report my flip-flops still fit.
←Rate | 04-06-2016 18:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I gained so much Winter weight, I had to go buy a pregnancy test just to be sure
←Rate | 03-21-2016 11:52 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the future, imagine how many Go-Pros will be found buried under snow in the mountains containing the last moments of people's lives...
←Rate | 03-17-2016 12:42 by eengrms Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Farmer's Almanac predicts a mild winter, a dry summer, and no sex for me until at least 2026.
←Rate | 01-30-2016 12:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The snow storm is way too white, I think it's time to boycott.
←Rate | 01-23-2016 17:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope snow storm Jonas doesn't bring his other 2 brothers
←Rate | 01-23-2016 17:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
←Rate | 01-22-2016 08:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I froze my balls off this morning. It is so cold I am not even going to go find them. They can stay there until the snow melts.
←Rate | 01-17-2016 09:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was beginning to wonder if the winter's directly before a presidential election year were all warmer than usual due these lie spuing politicians and the amount of hot air hey were expelling.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 16:40 by John Y Comments (3)  

   messageicon The deep freeze of winter has finally arrived. It's that time of year when most women and Bruce Jenner say thank God for padded bras.
←Rate | 11-19-2015 10:08 by @AQuintinSmith Comments (0)  

   messageicon UGGS, The winter equivalent of Crocks. You approach me with Uggs, I'll assume you're a mental patient.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 14:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Winter is coming. Women about to steal your heart and your hoodie.
←Rate | 10-08-2015 12:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon Too bad the Kardashians drove off into a snow ditch and not off a cliff....
←Rate | 06-30-2015 13:11 by Rick Comments (0)  

   messageicon I love when people comment on my winter weather from warm climates... "It's 80 here" and your inside on the Internet? Losers always lose
←Rate | 03-31-2015 19:44 by L Comments (0)  

   messageicon Breaking News :: the groundhog says 1 more week of WINTER
←Rate | 03-18-2015 16:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon As soon as I get finished with this dozen donuts and gallon of chocolate milk, I am going to focus on losing the 20lbs I added this winter
←Rate | 03-08-2015 10:09 Comments (0)  

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