Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Fun fact. Swedish meatballs are actually a recipe king Charles XII brough back from a trip to Turkey. So they really Turkish meatballs.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 20:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everyone is talking about the royal wedding but life isn't a game of thrones
←Rate | 05-18-2018 20:46 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do trumpians want trump to get the "bell" or not. They keep chanting No Bell No Bell.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 20:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon God or guns, choose one.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 20:23 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I would send thoughts and prayers, but I would rather vote and send better politicians...
←Rate | 05-18-2018 20:03 by eengrms Comments (0)  

   messageicon Do you know who got participating trophies? Michael Jordan. Just imagine the crappy player he would have been if there were no confidence building participating trophies. You people who don't believe in psychology are just plain stupid morons.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 19:10 Comments (3)  

   messageicon Dimitrios Pagourtzis, the shooter behind the Santa Fe High School in Texas, has a MAGA hat. I see I common trend here.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 18:54 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Sorry Texas. I don't feel sorry for you guys one bit. You made your bed, now you have to lay in it.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 18:25 Comments (5)  

   messageicon I watched 30 minutes of Kong: Skull Island on TV, which was more than enough to confirm why I don't waste money on movies anymore.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 15:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When trump was ask if he was upset that he wasn't invited to the royal wedding he said "not at all...... I don't know the Royals."
←Rate | 05-18-2018 15:05 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump says 'School shootings have been going on forctoo long'. Well duh, you stupid idiot, tell us something don't know. Sheesh!
←Rate | 05-18-2018 14:38 Comments (15)  

   messageicon Yanny or Laurel?
←Rate | 05-18-2018 14:10 by Verge Comments (1)  

   messageicon America going straight into 'thoughts & prayers' Groundhog Day mode after yet another mass school shooting.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 13:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've been trying to decide if I care less about the royal wedding or the Laurel-Yanny nonsense.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 11:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stop talking about the Royal Wedding, your cats are sick of hearing about it.
←Rate | 05-18-2018 11:05 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I paused “Crazy Train” during the guitar solo to listen to you, so don’t tell me I’m not taking this relationship seriously!
←Rate | 05-17-2018 23:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me: She really needs to calm down. Alcohol: You should tell her.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 23:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If this new pair of camo crocs doesn't get me laid tonight, nothing will.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 23:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Me: I have fillings for you. Her: I have a boyfriend. Me: I'm married and I'm your Dentist...
←Rate | 05-17-2018 20:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I find it annoying when old people poke me at wedding and say "you'll be next." So I started to do the same thing to them at funerals.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 16:43 by Jake Comments (0)  

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