Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I just bought a new Jeep. I named it Elizabeth Warren because it's all white yet says it's a Cherokee.
←Rate | 10-20-2018 05:42 by Bogushontas Comments (0)  

   messageicon 70% of Georgia 53,000 block voters are people of color. what a surprise.
←Rate | 10-20-2018 03:28 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Let keep trump's MAGA plan in effect, by voting democractic Nov. 06
←Rate | 10-20-2018 02:43 by IDTN Comments (5)  

   messageicon Bet if the block voters wore MAGA hats, they would not of had a problem registering to vote.
←Rate | 10-20-2018 02:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The guy in charge of running the election (kemp) in Georgia is also running in the Georgia election. Mmmm I wonder who will win ?
←Rate | 10-20-2018 01:56 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Come on people, does your vote really count? Or is it just a big con?
←Rate | 10-20-2018 01:45 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I’m going as Alexa for Halloween this year and answering every question with, “Sorry, I’m having trouble understanding you right now.”
←Rate | 10-19-2018 19:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I like when people call me "Sir." I just wish they wouldn't follow it up with "You're making a scene."
←Rate | 10-19-2018 14:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I often get a "yes" from women, but it's usually followed by, "that's him officer"
←Rate | 10-19-2018 12:04 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rihanna turned down an opportunity to headline the halftime show at #SuperBowlLIII how ever they can still broadcast it on her forehead
←Rate | 10-19-2018 10:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you feel "blessed" because you have a lot of stuff, you obviously don't understand the meaning of "blessed."
←Rate | 10-19-2018 06:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
←Rate | 10-18-2018 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you sit on the toilet at 1159pm and the clock strikes midnight, it is the same crap different day.
←Rate | 10-18-2018 03:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
←Rate | 10-18-2018 03:28 by Crewz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Note to our friends from the south ,The Canadian Word EH! has been replaced with WAH ? Stay stoned my friends .
←Rate | 10-17-2018 18:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whenever someone says, "I think of you as family," I always assume they're gonna start screaming at me for something that happened 20-30 years ago...
←Rate | 10-17-2018 15:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Having a child is like having a little broke ass best friend!
←Rate | 10-17-2018 13:37 by Stevielea Comments (1)  

   messageicon Whenever I ride on an enclosed water slide I can't help but wonder if this is what it would feel like to be flushed down the toilet
←Rate | 10-16-2018 10:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your religion makes you hate someone, you need a new religion.
←Rate | 10-16-2018 00:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Bank Account probabbly thinks I am Dead 😢
←Rate | 10-16-2018 00:04 Comments (1)  

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