santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I'm dreaming of a melty turquoise Christmas. And sugar plums are fighting lesbian dragons in my head. This LSD-nog is fantastic.
←Rate | 12-08-2009 15:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon the difference in Tiger Woods and Santa is Santa stops at 3 hos.
←Rate | 12-09-2009 08:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon : Does that mean Santa knows where all the naughty girls live? No wonder he's so jolly!!
←Rate | 12-09-2009 11:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon : Santa Claus reported his naughty girls list stolen, Police comfirm Tiger Woods is the prime suspect.
←Rate | 12-09-2009 11:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wonders that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 01:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't wait to watch his favourite Christmas movie, "The Christmas That Almost Wasn't Due To Santa's Urinary Tract Infection"
←Rate | 12-10-2009 01:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon (Tiger's Christmas Song) Oh the weather outside is frightful. Having many tramps is so delightful. Just so my hot wife don't know…text a ho, text a ho, text a ho.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 09:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon got a sweater for Christmas ... he really wanted a moaner or a screamer 
←Rate | 12-11-2009 22:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if unemployment will be sending me a christmas bonus?
←Rate | 12-13-2009 11:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just met a lot of people who will corner the market on coal this Christmas.
←Rate | 12-13-2009 23:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows a lot of people that will corner the market on coal this Christmas
←Rate | 12-13-2009 23:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christmas Card $3.00 Brand new "Shrek" dvd $20.00 Gift wrap $2.00 The look of disappointment in a childs face when you tell them santa isn't real - PRICELESS !!!
←Rate | 12-14-2009 08:23 by Mile187 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 09:03 by Brades Comments (0)  

   messageicon FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 17:48 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 17:56 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well I just bought another load of laundry and a few things to dust for Christmas... I hope my family and friends enjoy a little extra work... You're welcome...That's just how I roll...
←Rate | 12-15-2009 14:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon apologizes for sounding insensitive, but that "Christmas Shoes" song just plain sucks.
←Rate | 12-15-2009 17:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon contemplating doing a combination of christmas and easter, wrap the gifts, then hide them all over the house, voila...Christer!!!
←Rate | 12-15-2009 17:40 by ANGELA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Santa: How much for your list with all the naughty girls on it?
←Rate | 12-17-2009 07:54 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinking the perfect holiday date for me this year has WELL HUNG stockings, a mistletoe belt buckle, nice christmas balls and NUMBA 1 SPOT on the naughty list.
←Rate | 12-17-2009 13:00 by Shoulin Comments (0)  

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