Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon letting you know your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory
←Rate | 02-26-2008 18:44 Comments (7)  


   messageicon naked and playing twister with the cat .
←Rate | 02-26-2008 20:03 Comments (1)  


   messageicon pulling up his pants..and saying no to crack
←Rate | 02-26-2008 20:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon more frustrated than a legless Ethiopian watchin' a donut roll down a hill..
←Rate | 02-29-2008 01:41 by N.h. Comments (11)  


   messageicon thinking so what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
←Rate | 03-05-2008 09:30 Comments (9)  


   messageicon eating the papers inside his books hoping that it will go straight to his brain
←Rate | 03-06-2008 17:25 by Dunno Comments (0)  


   messageicon laying in the road dressed as a deer
←Rate | 03-09-2008 11:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "sniffing glue, going to the zoo, gonna free all the kangaroos. Suck it Dr. Seuss!"
←Rate | 03-10-2008 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon joining the army. He hears it's a great way to meet people. Then kill them.
←Rate | 03-12-2008 19:27 by Sherif Ramadan Comments (8)  


   messageicon legally dead for tax purposes
←Rate | 03-14-2008 03:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon throwing a clock out the window seeing if time really will fly...
←Rate | 03-15-2008 20:31 by I.k. Comments (0)  


   messageicon just not that into you.
←Rate | 03-16-2008 02:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon fed up of talking about himself in the 3rd person. Stupid (name)!
←Rate | 03-17-2008 08:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon beta testing your mom.
←Rate | 03-19-2008 08:53 by Tantru42069 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "the kid next door's, imaginary friend"
←Rate | 03-19-2008 09:55 Comments (1)  


   messageicon divulging his mind in the complexities of t... ooo look a kitty
←Rate | 03-19-2008 19:52 by #NAME? Comments (0)  


   messageicon having trouble watering the plastic plants
←Rate | 03-19-2008 23:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon playing strip monopoly with a Russian sailor and a midget called Greg
←Rate | 03-20-2008 01:40 by Timblewee Comments (0)  


   messageicon a Figment of your imagination
←Rate | 03-20-2008 02:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Now in all good toy shops, batteries not included"
←Rate | 03-20-2008 02:58 by X Comments (0)  



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