Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Contact US
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Filter On
|
Filter Off
|
No Trump
Search Messages:
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Next»
Most Recent
Page: 4 of 6134
Customer service: And how does your name appear on your credit card? "I'd say about 11 pt Arial Bold"
20
2
←Rate |
02-26-2018 14:44
Comments (
0
)
2020 love life: The washing machine has seen me naked more often than anyone else.
20
2
←Rate |
08-24-2020 15:14
Comments (
0
)
At this point, if Pennywise tries to lure me into the sewer, I’m going.
20
2
←Rate |
09-14-2020 12:55
Comments (
0
)
The wind kept blowing an old Burger King wrapper at my feet for over half a block I know a sign from God when I see one
20
2
←Rate |
09-18-2020 10:22
Comments (
0
)
Do they make a Gas-X for brain farts? Asking for a friend.
20
2
←Rate |
10-13-2020 08:27
Comments (
0
)
I'd like to personally address Facebook in telling them we know how to vote and to kindly stop with those imbecilic notices.
20
2
←Rate |
10-19-2020 07:50 by
IARU
Comments (
0
)
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done this year...
20
2
←Rate |
10-28-2020 02:17 by
MrSharp
Comments (
0
)
I've decided to buy a Dallas Cowboys Covid mask. That way I know I won't catch anything.
20
2
←Rate |
12-09-2020 10:14
Comments (
0
)
Truth does not mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged
20
2
←Rate |
01-24-2021 22:51 by
Lonmo
Comments (
0
)
"I'm great at spelling bees. But hopless at spelling other words."
20
2
←Rate |
08-15-2018 20:52
Comments (
0
)
I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
10
1
←Rate |
05-20-2018 05:36
Comments (
0
)
Today's Tip: Look at each failure as a deposit made into the account that will help you write the check for your next significant success.
10
1
←Rate |
09-10-2018 06:51
Comments (
0
)
The things I do to make my wife happy. I'm wearing her underwear. She doesn't know I'm wearing them but when she puts them on tomorrow she'll think she lost weight.
10
1
←Rate |
09-25-2019 21:59 by
Gripenfelter
Comments (
0
)
my favorite posts on fb are the people who apologize for not having be on in a while and nobody cares that they're back
10
1
←Rate |
10-18-2019 06:56
Comments (
0
)
By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?
10
1
←Rate |
12-11-2019 13:26
Comments (
0
)
My phone auto-corrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer". I sent it anyways...
10
1
←Rate |
12-05-2019 08:57
Comments (
0
)
I really want to buy one of the grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back.
10
1
←Rate |
12-03-2019 09:54
Comments (
0
)
Homeschooling day 4: trying to get this kid transferred out of my class.
10
1
←Rate |
03-26-2020 10:56
Comments (
0
)
If you’re ever wondering if you and your spouse are on the same page fold a large blanket together. You’ll have your answer quickly.
10
1
←Rate |
04-07-2020 19:20
Comments (
0
)
If you shout along to the last word of each sentence in the eulogy, you can turn any funeral into a Beastie Boys song.
10
1
←Rate |
06-26-2020 09:07
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Next»
Most Recent
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com