Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Rose tint my world keep me safe from my trouble and pain....

   all I need is a little piece and quiet, so give me a little piece and i'll be quiet

   I recognize three out of the fifty ingredients listed here. This is food, right? I'll eat it, but I'll never understand it.

   I think the no passing notes at school policy should apply to teachers too.

   furiously searching for my misplaced Mozambican shrunken head. Well my evening is ruined...

   Religion is a spiritual joke thats gone too far.

   Our first lady will be doing a live show. Will there be a pole involved?

   2 + 2 = 46,783 -the CDC counting covid19 cases

   What do women and dog sh!t have in common? The older they are, the easier they are to pick up

   HAPPY CANADA DAY! It's like the 4th of July but with real beer!

   I was going to dress up like sleepy joe this year for Halloween, but my head would'n't fit up my arse.

   I dont want to say the economy is getting bad under Joe, but I drove by the former Chucky Cheese which is now called "chucky government cheese"

   Obama: "We Must Punish Our Enemies" American Teabaggers and GOP candidates are enemies of the Latino people??? This DUDE is the Anti Christ.......

   The world needs a hero, I'll go change my clothes..

   Mexican jokes & black jokes are all the same. Once you heard Juan, you heard Jamal.

   !̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇ ͫ̉ͦ̊̀̔ͧͮ͆̽ͦͩ͋̌͗̚̚҉̵͖̟͙̮͈̼̹̞͝ͅis ...Thats right I virtually cracked your screen ;P

   Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns and says to the other "Dam"

   I kissed Troy's mom and she like it, hope his squirrel friend don't mind it

   thinking about how Kanye could be so Heartless!

   I slipped and fell on ice today. I realized it was black ice when I got up and my wallet and keys were missing.