Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon A life worth living shouldn't be wasted on a life spent wanting....
←Rate | 09-22-2011 17:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon have you seen what facebook wants to do to the profiles now? zuckerberg needs a timeline of when he gave the ppl what they liked
←Rate | 09-23-2011 03:11 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon An average person thinks he isn't!!
←Rate | 09-26-2011 09:57 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon Usually, the easiest thing to do is say you are sorry. But there are times when you realise that in the face of what you have done, saying sorry is just so ridiculous.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 11:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you get nervous during sex, just pretend like everyone watching you is naked.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 09:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tomorrow is not guaranteed - and that applies to relationships too. Love for today for tomorrow you may break up.
←Rate | 10-04-2011 07:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most of the time the past tense of 'hate' is 'love.'
←Rate | 10-05-2011 13:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna go all Kazoo solo and Haiku Freestyle on the next person that says I'm not Gangsta!!!
←Rate | 10-07-2011 17:59 by migasjoe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Middle finger up to my old life.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 01:16 by Sader Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I would of known that buying a new ride-on lawn mower, my wife would mow the lawn all the time, I would of bought it 10 years ago.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 16:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon having at least one more drink then may not call it a night
←Rate | 07-05-2011 17:40 by DJ Drunkey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Radio One DJ Chris Moyles has announced he will perform a record-breaking 37 hour radio show. If rumours are to be believed then during his time on air he will play almost a dozen records.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 06:01 by @clarkysj Comments (0)  


   messageicon excited about Fat Tuesday! Not so excited about Headachey Wednesday though.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 18:17 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess the phrase ''ITS MY MONEY AND I NEED IT NOW!'' does'nt work on the I R S.
←Rate | 03-19-2011 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mother always told me to never quit something I'm good at. So here is to her for making me realise that i'm good at being drunk!
←Rate | 03-26-2011 21:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon NCAA Championship: are you kidding me?. More like the best 'slapstick' comedy ever!
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:30 by Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon A British accent can make a conversation about Justin Bieber sound like they just fixed the economy.
←Rate | 09-20-2012 07:27 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon After watching this horror movie, I have realised my a$$hole indeed does have a heartbeat.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 15:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hmmmm.. Do you ever wonder if Nicki Minaj butt dials more than most people?..
←Rate | 10-21-2012 03:34 by K. Mami Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keep the dream alive.....Hit the snooze button 6 times
←Rate | 04-14-2013 10:09 by MWC Comments (0)  




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