Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   A Dang Owl outside won't shut up... It keeps asking me "WHO"... I've said Mike Jones like 30 times

   First it was AlDS that affected mostly fagz, now Monkeypox is doing the same at 96%. Hello? Degenerates? Got the memo?

   Would someone explain to me why I never see straight women act the same way as gay men? Come on queers, if you want to be a women, act like one, not like a fruitcake.

   262 million people have been killed by governments this century. If you believe your chances of being shot by an American citizen is greater than being killed by a dictator that has disarmed the public...you're sadly mistaken!!!

   still that same great taste just fewer calories

   the reason for global warming

   All right, let's solve this once and for all. It was ME who pushed Humpty Dumpty, I also took Little Bo Peeps sheep for ransom, I was the one who let the dogs out and stole the cookies from the cookie jar. So there!!

   Facebook:........-Log on -Check notifications -Poke everyone back -Go on homepage -Do the happy birthday ritual -Go back to homepage -Change from Top news to Most recent -Have a little scroll down -Like a couple of pages -Youre damn bored already...

   treat your woman like a vacuum cleaner, if she stops sucking, replace the bag!

   Can somebody please explain to me! I've never actually seen it but I hear it all the time "There's one born every minute" Thats about mexicans right?

   Eventhough Mexico won, they still lost. Cause they have to go back to Mexico!

   going places just as soon as he gets out of this freaking bed

   exaggerations went up a million percent last year

   feels sorry for people who are on trial. Their future is put into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

   I used to be a life gaurd, untill that damn blue kid got me fired!

   Sorrry Facebook I trusted you manytimes I will not tell you what s on my mind anymore you keep tell people my secrets

   The BP president said that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, "Don't worry, my car is fine."

   I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!!

   I love school.......its the quizzes, tests, and homework I cant stand!!

   If you are talking behind my back you are in a great position to kiss my a@s