Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I wish exams came with a "50/50" and a "phone a friend" option.

   Osama Bin Laden ✔ Saddam Hussein ✔ Gadaffi ✔ Ciara's toes ✔ Lebron's hairline ✔ Souljaboy's career ❒

   Frustration 2011: A pic of several women. They're all tagged EXCEPT the only hot one.

   rejecting your reality and substituting his own.

   You're not a loser because you're covered in tattoos. You're covered in tattoos because you're a loser…

   Whenever a bird poops on my car I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I'm capable of!

   Dr. King's dream of murdering Asian and Latino cops is really coming to fruition.

   DIDNT WE ALMOST SNORT IT ALL.....

   Here comes Jigga Boo Boo proudly presented by BET the Ghetto TV Network.... Now THAT'S just wrong!!.

   Don't judge me for being materialistic until you've walked a mile in my fantastic Gucci suede shoes.

   CNN:" No Kenyan athletes injured in the Boston explosion" those guys are already home CNN

   Here's to Obama's trip to Dallas. May it go as well as JFK's

   Kentucky man wins 128 million dollar lottery. Says he will share winnings with his wife and sister. Lucky woman!

   If men fall sleep so quick after sex, why is it so hard to catch rapists ? :p

   allowed to talk about fight club

   waited patiently in line for 'free willy', only to discover it was a film!

   wanna go halves on a baby?

   Those who want the minimum wage set to $15 an hour; calling it a living wage are clueless. How about a living education? If you're 30 and making fries for a living, don't expect me to subsidize your poor life choices.

   There will be no more need to worry about being on Santa's naughty list........Obama shut down the coal industry

   Oh you're voting for Hillarious Clinton the crook. I am not saying you're stupid, but voting for her only proves you are. . .