Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 14:06 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just brought some things the the shop..went to pay for it and the lady at to the counter said "1.69 please". I said "Sorry.Can't I pay with money instead?"
←Rate | 09-22-2010 15:01 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..i think Facebook needs a "Yes I Like Your Status And Have Commented On It ... But I Don't Want To Know When Everyone Else F*cking Does!" button
←Rate | 09-22-2010 17:14 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon DNS FAILURE: Facebook is down which means 9 months from today, many children will be born.
←Rate | 09-23-2010 17:23 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon When nudists put on a play, do they argue about who has the biggest part?
←Rate | 09-25-2010 13:47 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon Junk- something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 08:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon While getting dressed this morning, I decided I have been spending waaaaay too much time on the computer, when I caught myself checking the lower right corner of my make-up mirror to see what time it was.
←Rate | 09-26-2010 08:35 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 12:13 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Random thought: Ed Hardy shirts are the new sweatpants; wearing them in public means you've given up on life.
←Rate | 09-27-2010 12:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot", you are wasting everybody's time.
←Rate | 09-29-2010 14:05 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't have to be good at anagrams to see that Pope Benedict is an Epic Bent Pedo.
←Rate | 09-29-2010 14:10 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was shopping online and saw a horse that I rather liked. So I clicked "Add to cart."
←Rate | 09-30-2010 13:58 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies show it's okay for me to simply say "studies show" in front of anything and it becomes accepted as fact.
←Rate | 09-30-2010 14:02 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can I borrow that quarter? Because my mom told me to call home when I fell in love.
←Rate | 09-30-2010 23:23 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon I left my cross-eyed girlfriend today. The b*tch was seeing someone else.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 14:09 by lemonpillow Comments (10)  


   messageicon I'm thinking of re-releasing my old statuses in 3D.
←Rate | 10-02-2010 07:38 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Sheen is really coming to the defense of Lindsay Lohan. In fact, he's set up a website asking the media to leave her alone. The site is doing great, it's received almost as many hits as his wife.
←Rate | 10-04-2010 05:35 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Computer Geek's Pickup Line: Is your name Google? No. Why? Because you have everything I've been searching for!
←Rate | 10-05-2010 14:09 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon George Washington is the only president who didn't blame the previous administration for his troubles
←Rate | 10-05-2010 14:12 by lemonpillow Comments (8)  


   messageicon My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"?
←Rate | 10-07-2010 14:15 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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